Embracing Change

Our lives are constantly changing.

We can’t hold on to today.

The present is the past tomorrow.

We can’t go back to yesterday and do it again

One can’t change the past – and dwelling on it will only lead to despair.

What do we miss when we continue to look in the past and regret that yesterday – or last year , or five years ago – is not today?  I assure you we miss something!

We miss the present. 

We miss the enjoyment of today. 

We miss the excitement we could experience about tomorrow.

As life goes on there are changes; and it almost seems that we are expected to fight the changes rather than embrace them.

But what if we embraced these changes?  What would happen if we found ourselves truly excited about the future and the changes that are coming?  What if we looked forward to the future with excitement?  

A lot has changed in my life in the past two years.  The children have grown.  I have come and gone and come back to my blog.  I have experienced rejection and watched a relationship in my life crumble into a million pieces around my feet.  And as I sat there taking it all in – all the changes I had a choice to make.  I could stay there and look back and wonder how it all could happen, or I could look at the future and embrace the change.

Yes, I took some time to reevaluate and to heal from the hurts.  I walked away from the blog and thought long and hard about the future.  I walked away from social media and took some time to just be private and reflective; and in the quiet time away I realized that I had a choice to make.  I had to decide that I would embrace the change and move forward.

Not all of the stories of our lives have happy endings; and realizing that has set me free.  A relationship has ended and as stories go, this one has had one of the saddest endings I have read.  However, this story is only a small story in the compilation of the many stories in my life.  I cannot let the sad ending to this story define me.  My life is so much more than that. 

I have a husband who loves me more than his own life and would do anything for me and for my good.  I have five wonderful children who are starting to walk into their own stories and their own lives and I get a front row seat.  Each one of my children will drop everything to come and talk to me.  I am watching in amazement as my relationship with them changes as they grow into adults and delighted as I am able to move from caregiver to their daily needs to being a friend and encourager as they enter adulthood.  

I sit and watch this life of mine unfold in front of me; and there are times it takes my breathe away.  It’s a wonderful life and I have been blessed; and I would miss all of it if I was focused on the sad endings of certain stories of my life.  

Tomorrow looks bright and wonderful.  Yes, there will be surprises and challenges and there will be other stories that will end with sadness – that is life.  But my life is filled with blessings and joy.

I choose to embrace the changes that life brings.  Perhaps in a small way this is what the apostle Paul was challenging us with he explained his mental discipline and thought choices.  He chose to forget the things behind and look forward to the things that were coming.

We can’t change the past – but we get to live the future.  Will you join me?  Embrace  the changes.  Delight in watching what God is doing in your life and refuse to live in the past.

I’m excited to be back and writing again.  Thanks so much for joining me here.

Blessings,

~Martie 

Today I will Remember

Today I will remember. 

Today I will be thankful for every single day we had with her.  I will cherish that memory.

Today I will relalize and meditate.

I will dwell on the reality that God uses the hard things in life to mold us.

Today I will give thanks. 

Thank you God that I know you better than I did fifteen years ago this day.  Thankful that I have experienced your healing of a broken heart.  Thankful that Heaven is so much more a reality. 

                                                                     "Blessings"

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

~Laura Mixon Story

A New Chapter

Last week I flew to Denver to meet a lady I had only spoken to on the phone.  We had never met face to face.  We had talked, however, from our hearts and our hearts share something very special.  Each of us has lost a baby suddenly due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).  Both of us have experienced what it is like to have life change in an instant.  Everything about life to feel out of order and out of control; and each of us has found that God can heal and restore and bring good from such a terrible situation.

So, last week, we met face to face.  We talked.  We cried.  We planned.

After her son died from SIDS Cheryl and her husband started what is now known as SIDS America.  A non-profit, faith based organization to help parents who are grieving the same loss that they had encountered.

I have no doubt that God allowed our paths to cross and after much prayer and a lot of conversations, we believe with certainty that God has called to me work with SIDS America!  It is a ministry I am excited to become a part of.

I will be handling the support services of SIDS America.  I will be talking with families as they grieve the loss of their baby and obtaining resources needed to help these families.  My husband and I will be doing marriage counseling together with couples when the need arises. I will be writing bi-weekly for the SIDS America blog in an effort to put out written work that is readily available for grieving parents. 

I wanted to share this new venture with you my readers and ask you to pray.  Pray that God will use me in this ministry for His glory and honor.  Pray that my words will point grieving parents to Him. 

It was my prayer the moment I walked into Ally's room and saw my husband doing CPR on her that God would allow me to use this for His glory.  The position with SIDS America is an answer to my prayers and I trust God will be magnified through my ministry there.

Thanks for your prayers for me and I begin my new journey.
~Martie

Bats our Lot in Life

When we moved from our house in Mayville we warned the people renting the house that we have had bats before.  We have!  I hate bats.

When we looked at the farmhouse that we have rented here in North Carolina one of our first questions was, "Have you had a problem with bats?"  That was asked more than once; actually several times.  We wanted to make sure that we were leaving our bat stories in Mayville.  Well, and Kaukauna - for that matter. 

So, we moved in with confidence that our bat stories were over.  Imagine our surprise when early this morning (2:36am to be exact how early!) we heard Zak say this phrase, "Dad, there is something flying around in the kitchen and I thought you might want to know."

This jumped us into action.  At roughly 2:37am this morning you could hear Rob say in a military tone of voice, "Everyone close your door s!" Now, this is a phrase that he has said many times before; but we were hoping that would be a phrase only used when we lived in the North - not the South! 

Everyone obeyed the command and you could hear their obedience with the slam of the bedroom door.  Then we heard the sounds that accompany a bat being found in the house.  (It sounds like warfare and hand to hand combat.) 

While the clock still read 2:37 we heard the welcomed report, "Coast is clear!" and the doors opened and details were being craved from everyone. 

Our first bat experience lasted about 4 hours.  This one:  45-50 seconds.  I think that we are getting the hang of taking care of flying intruders. 

I got back into bed wondering if God is getting us ready for something.  A mission field?  A foreign county?  A child who will be living in jungles with flying creatures that make me scream?  Not sure what; but I am thankful to be in His will - even it that means a flying bat from time to time! 

Thanks for stopping by.  I trust your nights rest this evening will be uninterrupted.

Blessings,
~Martie

A Hero Comes Home

This past week has been filled with sadness and tears.  This young man who grew up in our town was killed in Afghanistan when a bomb exploded.  Suddenly his life was ended and in a few short hours our town was buzzing with the news.

Yellow ribbons went up all over town.

Flags were lowered.

Patriotism grew in our hearts as we realized one of our own had paid the ultimate price.

War came home - and it hurt.

Life seemed to come into a different view.  A view that you don't look through very often.

You see, he grew up in the same town that my son is growing up in.  He rode his bike down the same streets that my son does.  He went to work with his Dad just like my son is doing right now.  The same coach that coached my son in football this fall also coached this fallen hero not too many years ago.

So, we paid our respects.  We stood on the street corner and watched as the hero was brought home to be honored and mourned - at the same time.

We listened as the gun gave their salute.  It was with my hand over my heart and tears running down my cheeks that I stood and listened to that sounds.  So deafening.  So final. So sad.  And I wanted to grasp my son close to my chest and weep.  I wanted to hold him tight and never let go.

The final salute to this hero came on Sunday afternoon when military honors were given.  The casket was marched across the river by Marines dressed in their finest dress.  The guns gave their salute and taps was played.  Hundreds were there in attendance to say goodbye and to let the family know that they are not alone.

I thought about mixed emotions as I stood there.  How deeply his parents are grieving and yet how proud they are of their oldest son giving his life for our freedom.  I prayed for them.  I watched as a grieving mother clutched the neatly folded flag close her and broke down in tears.

This past week - we honored a hero.  We stood shoulder to shoulder as a community when the helicopter flew overhead.  We stood there in silence and felt the cold air from the propelling blades turn the air.  The quietness of so many people was, in and of itself, moving.  What a comfort it was to hear the hero's pastor read from the Bible the passage reminding us that we have hope.  How thankful I am for the hope of Heaven.

How thankful I am for this hero.  How my heart goes out to his family.   This past weekend we were reminded that freedom is never free.  We still mourn and pray for his family as they start down this path of grief.

Happy Birthday

Thirteen years... a long time.





She came into our lives today... thirteen years ago today.





She stayed for just a little while.





We will always remember this day - the day God added to our family a little girl. Allyssa Hope.








I think of her and wonder ...





What would she look like?





What would her personality be like - quiet? out going? driven? passive?





Would she be tall or short?





Would her hair be curly or straight.





I think of her and I wonder.





I think about this day and can not help but think about all that has happened since then.





God gave us another baby - homegrown.





God gave us two more children - hand picked.





Great grandparents have been united with Ally in Heaven.





Time has healed the deep wounds of grief.





The scars are still there.





When touched firmly the scar still hurts - it always will; but the debilitating limp is gone.





I have laughed and loved since then.





Life has gone on.





God has been so good.

Happy Birthday, Ally.

We miss you. We will always love you. We will never forget you.

The Price

Taking time to remember them...

Time to reflect on the truth that freedom is never free...

God has blessed America - may America bless God.

Natural Learning

Buy them new toys and what do they play with? NOTHING.



She is more interested in looking out the window at the squirrels, chipmunks and rabbits. They are giving her quite a show too! There are a lot of them - and they are busy with their winter preparations.


Thanks for stopping by, I am so glad you did.

Blessings,
~Martie

The Most Beautiful Time of the Year

Every season has something I like about it. However, fall is my absolute favorite. I love the color changes that surround me. The fields that have been green with the growth of the season is now orange and yellow as the crops prepare for their final days before harvest. I love waking up and needing a jacket before leaving the house - seeing my breath for the first time in months and feeling my nose turn cold as I walk around the block.

I love preparing my house for the season. I look forward to the days when we are snuggled in safe from a winter storm - and I love the prelude to that season - as I light the pumpkin scented candles in the entryway and pull out the fleece cover to drape over the back of the couch.

I enjoy peeling apples with my daughter, talking about school and making an apple crisp to share. I love the smells that leave the kitchen enticing the other children to make their way downstairs for a tasty treat.

I love this season. The season that always seems to remind me that my God is an artist that paints the landscape beautifully. His palette of colors never ceases to amaze me. So, as the trees around me whisper their last goodbyes before the leaves fall to the ground - I think of the God who made them. He truly delights my soul with His handiwork.

In what season do you find the most enjoyment?

Thanks for stopping by, I am so glad you did.

Blessings,

~Martie

Back To School

It has been twelve years ago this month, that I started on our homeschooling journey. She was five - I was excited - and even though I did not drop her off at the kindergarten door, I watched as she did her school work from her desk in the basement - and I cried. Amazed how fast time had gone - she was already in kindergarten!

Our journey in homeschooling has continued through the years - and more kids than just Rachel. I taught the kids their phonics and math - same scope and sequence - just a different child. We have enjoyed the years - being together. We have been frustrated at times - being together. Yet, through the years - we have grown - being together.

We have maintained a commitment to parent directed education of our children. Realizing it our decision to make the most of our children's educational years. Homeschooling has always been the tool that God has allowed us to use.

Until this year...

God has opened up an opportunity for our children to be educated outside of the home. Our commitment to parent directed education has allowed us to see that for our children, that God's desire and will for them is to go to our church's Christian school. We are excited and blessed beyond what words can say. We are finding ourselves amazed at how life can change and thrilled to know that we serve a God that knows all things. He knew twelve years ago that our homeschooling journey would end in August 2009. What peace we have to know we can rest in His will for our lives.

So, on Monday, we start school. Only this year - I will drop the kids off at school and come home to a much quieter house. Until then, I will be labeling pencils, checking the school supply list just "one more time", and thanking God for His goodness to us.

Trust that through the hectic time of "Back to school", you are able to reflect upon God's goodness to you. I pray that whether your children will be in a classroom with other children, or sitting at your dinning room table looking over their new books for the year - that you are able to take time to reflect on Him - and be blessed.

Thanks for stopping by. I am so glad you did. Perhaps with all this "free" time on my hands I will find the time to blog more; but at first you will find me cleaning the parts of the house that I have not had the time to clean while being my children's teacher. (Refrigerator coils - here we come!)

Blessings,
~Martie

Enjoying Spring

Outside my front door it appears that spring is here. Anna seems to be enjoying its arrival.

Don't be too impressed with the beauty - I turned around for a minute and she picked all the blooms off - and threw them on the sidewalk. :)



Glad I got the picture first. Thanks for stopping by, I am so glad you did.



Blessings,

~Martie

Remembering

Thankful that she was ours... even just for a while.

How I miss her!!

Allyssa Hope Spurgeon

July 1, 1997 - December 13, 1997

"He giveth and taketh away... blessed be the name of the Lord."

A Call For Change

If Christian's were living a life of separation from the world...

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If Christian's were educating themselves different than the world...

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Entertaining themselves different from the world...

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Valuing things different than the world...

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Dressing different from the world...

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I wonder....

~ ------- ~

Can we not see? Do we not hear their cry?

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The world around us desires to see a change.

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A difference...

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I can not help to think that God is looking for the same --

in His people!

("Come out from among them and be separate...")~~

After this election, we can as Christian's play the blame game - but rest assured - God is not.

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If America comes under persecution...

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If we as a country lose precious freedoms that our forefathers held dear enough to their hearts that they gave their families,their fortunes - their very lives...

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If in our life time, we see this come to pass - then I hope we have enough character not to blame the world!

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The world is looking for something different.

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Yet, we, in our insecurities and vain priorities have desired to be accepted by all those around us.

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We have craved smooth preaching and "tickle -our -ears" messages that make us feel like we are good.

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We have entered our workplaces, our schools, and our social gatherings looking like the magazine covers we read on a regular basis.

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We have spent our evenings filling our mind with the philosophies of this world through our media choices - not realizing in the process that we have been spoiled.

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It is time - it is high time, that we as Christian's wake up to the fact that this is our fault.

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We must return to biblical truth.

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We must be consumed with God.

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If our children do not know the freedom that we have taken for granted - rest assured it will be on our account.

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It is time we realize that friendship with the world is enmity against a thrice holy God. God does not bless mixed loyalties.

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It is time for Christian's to take the blame.

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It is time to repent of our sins.

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It is time to be consumed with the holiness of God.
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The world is looking for a difference. Perhaps it is time that we answer that call.

Will you not join with me in prayer before God? He is ready to forgive if we come to Him in humbleness of heart.

~Martie

Weighing in on the Election

I am having a hard time this election year because...

*I have a hard time saying that a man has character when he has not been loyal to the vows he made to his wife at the wedding altar.

*Character matters - and a man who is seeing a woman while he is still legally married to another women fails to pass the character test in my eyes.

*I still believe that the best place for a woman with small children is at home spending the majority of her efforts being a Mom. (I also believe that the Bible clearly backs up this position.)

*I have a hard time understanding how a person who says she values family agrees to appear on a show that does it's best to under mind the very institution that she says is most dear to her.

*I have a hard time swallowing the "Deborah" line of thinking - when her husband is standing beside her in agreement with her positions.

~

*I am tired of having to choose between the lesser of the two evils.

*This presidential candidate's past religious experimentation's quite honestly - scares me!

*A wife whose husband is running for president and has only recently felt that she is proud of her country quite honestly - offends me.

*I do not view any child as a mistake.

I wish there was another to choose from ... and in a small respect there is. My patriotic spirit loved what John Adam's so fitly said years ago:

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Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost -John Adams

So many uncertainties - so many quandaries - but... there are a few things that I know for certain...

*The cause of America's problems is not her politics

*The answers to America's problems will never be answered in the political arena

*The Christian's of America have more ability to change the world we live in than any political party could ever hope for


So, while I am still wishing that there was more to choose from, I have been challenged to live my life as a Christian in a way that will make and impact. To live apart from the world so that the world can see that there is a difference. I have recommitted myself to the values and principles of God's Word.

The only hope America's future is for Christian's to turn back to God and live a first century church lifestyle in today's day and age. I must accept personal responsibility and realize that this starts with me. As a Christian I have an obligation to God and to America to walk worthy of my calling.

Even so come Lord Jesus!"

~Martie

Lay Me Down to Sleep - but where?...

Each family that moves can attest to the fact that every move is filled with mishaps and setbacks. You just do not move a family of 7 without a few ruffles in the covers. Well, this move has taken the cake to every move we have ever made up to this point. It has been filled with one inconvenience after another!

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One such 'inconvenience' was the mistake of leaving the crib at the old house in the attic. (It was the last thing that needed to be brought down out of the attic - it also was the last thing that we forgot to get into the truck!) So, our new little one has been spending her nights in her pack and play while we try to find the time and the money to purchase a new crib. (This has not been really too bad for her - as we had not yet set up the crib for her at the old house, knowing we would be moving in a few weeks and would have to tear it down relatively soon after putting it up - so she is very used to her pack and play!)

This afternoon there was a sign for a garage sale in our neighborhood. I decided to do a quick run and see if they happened to have any baby stuff. ( I have been praying that God would allow me to find a garage sale with a crib). Well, the Lord answered my prayers and I was able to purchase a crib for $20.00. It was good to get to know another set of neighbors in this small town - and also bring home a crib for baby.

God is good. I am so glad that He knows just what we need and answers prayers. I am so glad that God provides for our needs and also for our mistakes. What a loving Heavenly Father we have - it is neat to see Him meet the little needs in our everyday life.

Trust you are resting in His care and promises. Thanks so much for stopping by - I am so glad you did!

Blessings,

~Martie

Christ - My All in All

Some enjoy changes. The thrill that comes along with everything being different and new.

Some have grown used to life changing. Careers and employment that keep life in flux have acclimated some to a life that changes every few years.

I am neither one of those. Enjoying change does not describe me. I have evaluated this in the past several weeks. Perhaps it is because I am growing older. I think when I was young - I enjoyed change; but then again...

I have come to evaluate the familiar and have found myself evaluating how much of my trust and security is in this illusion of 'sameness'.

How much of the world would have been reached for Christ if missionaries and preachers of old had been unwilling to venture far from the familiar?

It is so easy to say that God has full control over everything in my life. That everything I have belongs to Him and is at His disposal. It is an entirely different thing altogether to actually have that statement put to the test.

Change is good for me. It helps me to evaluate the important. It is taking me out of my comfort zone and places me in a position of vulnerability. Interesting how much I cling to God when I feel most vulnerable. Ah, to realize yet again, "Christ is all I need."

"That I may know Him..."

Blessing,

~Martie

Answered Prayers

We are praising the Lord.

We have an accepted offer on the house and are scheduled to close at the end of August.

Just wanted to let you all know.



Blessings,

~Martie

Writers Cramp

My posting has been sporadic at best - and there are many reason this may be so. A new baby to love and care for has a way of changing schedules and priorities. However, little babies go to bed at 8:00 and blogging time can be taken then.

Using the Internet to look for housing in a town two hours away can seem to take away from blogging time. How many nights we have sat in front of this screen checking on houses and using Google maps to check neighborhoods and locations. Yet, there have been evenings when the computer has sat - without use - without searches - yet, blogging and posting did not take place.

No, these are mere excuses. I know why the postings have been lacking. It is because a part of my life is coming to a close - and how do you write when there is so much that is changing. So many mixed emotions that it is most difficult to even know how to put them into words when speaking with my closest of friends; much wise pen them to words that can be read by anyone.

How do you close a chapter in your life that was six years in the making - and be able to put into words all the thoughts and feelings of your heart. I'm sorry - but I can't.

I can't find the words to explain how difficult it is to finish up a ministry that God specifically called us and equipped us to do. How do you put into words the emotions of your heart when you know this particular Wednesday night service was your last Wednesday night at the church you have called home for so long. How do you explain how unsure you are of the emotions you are facing; knowing that on Sunday the church home that you have known for six years will no longer be your church home - and life will move on.

How do I explain how excited I am about the future ministry God has called us to - the new church God has led us to - and the plans that await us in the near future? How do I explain this emotion - while still feeling the sadness of closing off life as I know it now? How do I put into words the questions that are facing us right now -

Where will we live? ...

Will there be enough money to live? ...

How far will our faith be tested?...

Can one explain just how hard it is to sell a home that you have put your heart and soul into?

How do you explain praying till your heart could almost break that God will sell the house - when in the next moment your thankful it has not sold - for it give opportunity to be able to stay just a bit longer in the abode you've called home for the last six years. The home that has housed your children's laughter for the past years. The home whose walls have witnessed the prayers and tears that go into life.

So many thoughts - so many different emotions - Life is moving on - and I am not really sure how to put it all into words.

"To every thing there is a season..."

Thanks so much for stopping by - I'm glad you did.

~Martie

Busy

We have been so busy here. So much to do. We plan to put the house up for sale this next week. (We had planned to do so this week - but we all have been battling some sickness) With the prospect of open houses and interested buyers we have gone into cleaning and packing modes.

There are items to pack away that we do not use on a normal basis.

There are winter clothes to get put into boxes. (May I add to this - now that they are all in their boxes - the weather forecast is calling for a high of 39 degrees on Sunday - go figure! :)

Door jams to paint up the nicked areas - and shelves to be polished and dusted.

Children to be lectured about the need to put everything away as SOON as you are done with it. Trying to train them to have the house presentable within 30 minutes for unexpected showings.

So much to do. We will be busy this weekend. Rob has a few days off as the church gets to know the Pastoral candidate that will be here for the next few days. Sunday we will visit our "new" church and try to get acquainted with people there and make plans for our move there.

A lot to do - too busy to think - and perhaps it is better that way.

Blessings to you my friends,

~Martie

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men....

The best laid plans of mice and men... I have found my organized self - disorganized and my days filled with schedule changes for which I had not planned.

To start, I have been sick. I am feeling better - although not back 100%. However, a busy Mom is only allowed so much time in bed!! I have spent the day trying to attain completion of laundry in the basement laundry room. How can there be so many clothes- after just a few sick days!!??

Our plans also have changed for the entire month. It was looking like April would be a quiet - stay- at -home month; but alas, it has turned out to be much different than planned. I will be gone quite a few days here in April. I am looking forward to the time away; as it will involve making plans for our future ministry. So there is a lot to do in April. Lists are being made, Realtors being contacted; and an old house touched up - for future inspections of prospective buyers. How I hope that the new owners of our home will be a family that will love our house as much as we have loved it! We will see.

With this in mind, I have decided to change me plans for a tip a day with the autism project. I am going to do the tips at the beginning of the week - and for the entire week. So on Monday's I will post the Autism Tips of the Week. It is the only way to get it all in with everything that we have going on here at the home front!

Well, that is an update of how I have been, where I will be - and what I plan to do. Thanks so much for stopping in. I am so glad you did.

Blessings,

~Martie