The Language of Love

Having a child with autism mean that you have a child who feels pain in different ways than most other children. At first glance, Zak would appear to have very developed social and communication skills. Yet, there are so many things that he does not understand; and so many levels that he does not communicate normally.

This past week he has been acting differently. I kept thinking something was wrong. His teacher kept saying that something just did not seem right. We continued to go through our normal week. He continued to do odd things. We continued to ask questions. "Are you in any pain?" "Does anything hurt?" He continued to assure us that he was fine. He even asked us to stop asking him all these questions!

Then on Wed the teacher told me that she thought it best if he went home. I asked if he was being bad. No, just different. I watched him at home that day. I agreed. Something was not right.

The doctor was called the next day. I figured it would not hurt if she took a look at him - even though he assured me that everything was fine.

The doctor asked questions. "Does your ear hurt?"

"No, my ear is fine!" Zak answered, not even looking at the doctor.

"Does your nose hurt?" the doctor probed

"No, it just feels like something is stuck up there."

I decided to mention here that he seems to grimace when he swallows his water. Zak interrupts me while I am talking.

"Wait just one minute! I have something to say. I have something to say here. Wait one minute!" The doctor assures him that she is listening. "I have something to say."

"I'm listening, Zak. What do you want to say."

"When the water goes down my throat it gets stuck. I can't get it to go down. Then my head is sore."

"So you have a headache?"

"No, my head is just sore."

She then proceeds to shine the light into his ear. "Does your ear hurt?"

"No!" he answers emphatically. Then as she touches his ear he pulls back and yells. "Be careful when you touch my ear. It is really really sore!"

"But you said it did not hurt."

"It doesn't hurt; it just really sore!"

Once again, I understand that so many times we speak the same words; but so often we are not speaking the same language. Sure enough he had an ear infection, a sinus infection and a throat infection. That would explain the odd behaviour for the past week.

Someday perhaps, we will speak the same language. I am so thankful that he understands the language of love. So I rub his hair while I put the drops into his ear. He does his odd little behaviours over and over. The doctors call these movements neurological tics; and Zak always seems to have these tics worsen when he is ill. Asks the same questions over and over; and I am thankful that God has given him to me to love and to teach me that love covers a multitude of behaviours and speaks louder and clearer than words. So I pray that God gives me a heart to love him; and God gives him a mind to comprehends how much he is loved.

Blessings,

~Martie

Time

I have become very aware of time here lately. I think about it often.

The time it takes to get to school - everyday.

The time spent waiting for school to end - everyday.

The time I need for housework now crammed into just a day - Saturday.

I spend a lot of time thinking about the lack of time; or the amount of time spent doing things on a weekly or daily basis. However, lately I have been thinking about how fast time seems to slip by.

Perhaps it is a mid life crisis. Perhaps it has a lot to do with a summer that was filled with unexpected illnesses that still linger. Perhaps it is a little of both.

I am amazed at how fast time goes by. How quickly the years have come and gone with our oldest daughter Rachel. It seems like just yesterday I was planning her nursery and looking forward to the day she would be born. Now, I am planning her graduation. It just flew by so quickly.

I think about when I had just two little girls in tow and can remember teaching them how to fold washcloths and put the pajama's away. Now they can efficiently do all the laundry themselves - I still have to remind them to put away their pj's in the morning. :)

I think about Ally's homegoing, and I'm amazed that it has been thirteen years since we stood in the snow and said goodbye. My little ones were still little - one still safe within me growing and waiting to enter the world.

My, it has gone by so fast! Without warning, it has just sped by. I want it to stop. I want to go back and do it again - taking time to stop and take in the smell of their hair as they cuddle with me for a quick bedtime story. I want to record within my mind their giggles and laughs as they enjoy Daddy pushing them on the swing set after a long day at work. I did not think it would go by this fast.

I am determined. Determined, that with the time that is remaining I will enjoy the time as much as I can. I will stop the hectic rush of life and spend time enjoying what really matters. Because what really matters will not be here with me in my house forever. I will enjoy them. I will love them. Each day, I will cherish that we are all still together.

Today, I will love them and realize that someday, sooner than I want to think, I will look back and think how fast the time as gone.

Thanks for stopping by. I am so glad you did.

~Martie

Update on Rachel

I feel the need to apologize for my delay in posting. The proverbial, “ I’ve been busy,” is the only reason I can give. The school schedule seems to be keeping us quite busy and I am finding my blogging time, and my accessibility to a computer to hamper my efforts here. We also have had some set backs with Rachel and her health. This has caused my time to be even more limited as I try to find time to accommodate doctor appointments.

Rachel has come a long way from where we were this summer; and for that I am thankful! She still is having some difficulty having the stamina to keep up with her normal life. We were planning on pulling her out of afternoon classes to allow her to have some extra rest time. However, she is in need of one of her afternoon classes in order to graduate; leaving that option to be of a last resort.

She continues to have weakness and has experienced increased pain in her joints and muscles. The doctors have prescribed her physical therapy for the time being. She is going to therapy two to three times a week to try to build up her muscles and recondition after the long summer of being down. We have not, as of yet, seen any benefit to this venture; but are continuing to work on the exercises and give the body time to get stronger.

She has had some blood work come back questionable and we are awaiting a visit to a specialist in Milwaukee. The overall inflammation throughout her body is high. The insurance has been pushing for these tests to be run to give us a more conclusive diagnosis to her prolonged illness. We are thankful that we have the opportunity to have the tests run. We plan on using the results to give us more information to make knowledgeable decisions about her care.

At this time, she is continuing at school and we are thankful for that. She has had to back out of some things; but we are thankful that she is still able to attend school. Thanks so much for all your prayers and emails. It means so much that people are praying.
Blessings