Walk and Not Faint

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”  Isaiah 40:31

The word faint means to be weary, to tire (as if from wearisome flight).  Have you ever been there?   Have you ever been physically exhausted?  Have you ever been emotionally weary?  There is nothing so draining as emotional weariness.  When you find yourself physically tired sleep can restore your body; but emotional weariness drains one to the very soul.  Perhaps there is nothing quite as difficult as getting yourself out of bed when you are emotional weary.

Have you been there?

Have you ever lost heart? Perhaps it was the news that the cancer was back – just when it appeared life was getting back to normal.  Perhaps a friend that was disloyal and turned on you in ways you never expected.   A wayward child for whom you pray for day after day; yet you never see any evidence that God has heard your prayer.   Financial struggles that seem to never let up can cause discouragement.   Life situations give us plenty of opportunities to become discouraged.  Discouragement is a part of life.  Perhaps the easiest place to encounter discouragement is in the mundane, day to day situations encountered in life.  Walking thru life can cause us to become weary.    John Claypool adequately describes this phrase: ‘walk and not faint’:

“Some people feel the sequence of this Isaiah passage is all turned around and that the highest form of God’s help ought to be the soaring of ecstasy.  They say it should read, “First you walk, then you run, and finally you mount up with wings as an eagle.”  But I think the writer knew what he was doing when he set down the promises as he did, for in the dark stretches of life, the most difficult discipline of all is not that of soaring or even of running.  It consists of “keeping on keeping on” when events have slowed you to a walk, when it seems that in spite of everything you are going to crumple under the load and faint away.’  (From the book Tracks of a Fellow Struggler – How to Handle Grief)

Sometimes it is hard just to get up and do it all over again.  Have you been there?  I know I have.  How we handle discouragement will determine if the hard situations in life will derail us or develop us.  Discouragement will come.  How do we handle these times when we are emotionally weary?

1.  Reacquaint Yourself with the Savior

If we are saved, we know the Lord as our Savior.  We have a relationship with Him.  We know He died on the cross to pay for our sins and we have put our dependence in what He did on Calvary as our only hope for redemption.  We know Christ. However, sometimes we forget Him in times of discouragement and hardship.

I love what the writer of Hebrews has to say about being weary. “For consider Him (Christ)… lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.”  I have written in the margin of my Bible next to this verse:  “Solution to depression”.  When we feel weary and discouraged that is when we need to reacquaint ourselves with our Savior.  He endured so much for us!  He was perfect – yet HE became sin for us.  He left Heaven for you.  If you were the ONLY person in the world for whom He needed to die in order to redeem you – He would have endured it all just to save your soul!  That is amazing. 

When I see all that the Savior endured for me, I find in His example strength to walk and not faint. 

2.  Review God’s Goodness to You

I love the words of the Psalmist:  “I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”  It’s pretty amazing that the Psalmist made an affirmative that he WOULD have lost of heart – become completely discouraged - if he had not seen God’s goodness.

The ‘goodness of the Lord’ are all the way he has showed His loving kindness to us.   So, the Psalmist said he reviewed all the ways He could see God’s kindness to him as a person.  Our God is a very loving God – He is so kind to us.  In fact in Psalm 33:5 it says,  “the earth is full of the goodness of the LORD.”  In times of discouragement it is easy to forget all the ways that we have been blessed by the kindness of our loving God. 

I was challenged years ago after our daughter died to daily write down all the things for which I was thankful.  All the ways God had blessed me.  It was imperative that I not forget in the midst of suffering and grief that my God was still good.  Everywhere we look we see the kindness of God.  From the beauty of creation to the salvation of our souls we are constantly reminded that God loves us and has been so loving and kind to us.  Sometimes, we just have to look for it – rest assured you will not need to look far. 

3.  Be Renewed

If you wanted to find someone who had reason to be discouraged and depressed in the Bible you would find it in the apostle Paul.  His life was far from easy after he became a Christian.  He was imprisoned, beaten, betrayed by others (unsaved and saved alike), and yet we see Paul singing praises to God amidst terrible situations.  He gives explains to his readers how he was able to avoid discouragement during difficult times in his letter to the Corinthian church.

“For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.  For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.”   II Corinthians 4: 15 (Emphasis mine)

How could Paul say that his inward man was renewed day by day and what does that mean?  The word renewed means to renovate.  The inward man (Paul’s soul) was being renovated (made over / new) through the various trials that Paul was facing!  The trials were bringing him further on in his sanctification!  This is exciting.  The trails you and I encounter in our lives will cause us to be more Christlike and will prepare us for eternity with Christ.  They have a purpose!  It’s not the cheap cliché, “Life is hard – and then you die”.  No, the trials in life will have eternal value when we allow God to use them in our lives. 

It is clear in the text that this renewal in Paul’s soul took place with two different exercises. 

* First of all, Paul realized that the hardships in life will end. 

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment…”  II Corinthians 4:17.   When difficulties came he reviewed this truth in his mind – this will not last forever!  In my mind I wonder how many times Paul reminded himself of this truth.  As he was feeling the blows of a beating did he repeat this fact in his head?  Did his mouth whisper the words, ‘but for a moment’ as his ankles swelled in the stocks?    

*Secondly,when Paul encountered hard times he choose to focus on eternity. 

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal eight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”  When we realize that the things of this life will not last – but what God is doing in our hearts to conform us to Him will last for eternity we find the strength to walk and not faint.

Allposters.com

Are you discouraged right now?  I challenge you to spend time reacquainting yourself with Jesus Christ, look for all the blessings you have in your life right now; and allow the Spirit of God to conform you to sanctify your through the trials you encounter.  

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”  Isaiah 40:31

Thanks for stopping by – I am so glad you did.

Blessings,

~Martie

Prognosis / Puzzle Pieces / PET Scans

We met with the doctor this week to discuss treatment options and follow up care.  It was a good visit.  We were encouraged again by how good the prognosis is; and how upbeat the doctors are about the outcome.  God is good.  We also were able to understand more fully exactly what happened to bring on the tumor so quickly.  It is neat to see the puzzle pieces come together and bring even more understanding.

When the tumor appeared on Rob’s neck it became visible overnight.  Rob had been working in the garden the day before and felt something “pop” in his neck area.  The next morning the tumor was visible and quite large. After several doctor's visits surgery was scheduled (it felt like an eternity).   During the surgery the doctor found that the tumor was not invading the neck as it would if it was the aggressive cancer and her thoughts were that the surgery had been successful in removing the tumor (an another unknown tumor on the other side of the thyroid)  and that we would wait to see what the pathologist found after the biopsy.   The pathologist found a lot of blood in the tumor when he did the biopsy after the surgery.  What they have pieced together is that while he was working in the garden the day before, he pulled a muscle or did some type of damage to his neck that caused internal bleeding.  The bleeding went into the tumor and caused the tumor to swell.  So while the size of the tumor was large when they removed it, it had actually gotten bigger (where we could actually see it on the neck) overnight because of the bleeding in the neck.  They also said that the trauma to the neck is what brought on the fevers and night sweats – not the cancer.  So, the doctors figure that the tumor had probably been there for some time but did not become visible until he hurt his neck.  That is good news because it means that the cancer is a slow moving cancer and not an aggressive cancer as they had once thought.   

God is good!  We would have never known about the two different types of cancer on the thyroid without the neck injury!  It is kind of amazing to see how God worked it all out for us to be able to find out about the cancer.  It is also an amazing thing to be told that you may have cancer that could take your life in a matter of months.  The paradigm shift  that happens is instant and life looks completely different!  We have learned SO much from all of this! 

Photo:  All Posters

We will be doing a PET scan here in the next week or so to check and see if there is cancer anywhere else in the body or if there is indication that it has spread.  After the initial PET scan we will do a course of radioactive iodine (a pill routinely given those with thyroid problems)   followed by another PET scan to see if there is any other indication that the cancer has spread somewhere else.  We will also have routine blood work done every four months (for quite some time)  to measure levels and make sure that they blood work does not indicate that the cancer is growing somewhere else.  There is some indication that it *may* have; but it is not clear if that indication is even accurate.  They said that even if it has spread the prognosis is still excellent because we will be able to take care of it – and because it is not an aggressive cancer. 

We left the visit VERY encouraged.  What a turn around this has been since we first found the tumor.  What appeared to be a life threatening cancer is now something that is manageable and treatable!  We are so thankful.  Rob still has bouts of extreme fatigue as they work at getting the thyroid medication balanced in his system; but otherwise things are starting to get back to normal.  God has been so good to us through this time.  We have seen our faith strengthened and our view of eternity come into a clearer focus. 

Just wanted to give everyone an update on the doctor visit.  Thanks so much for your prayers.  Your notes of encouragement, phone calls and emails have been such a blessing to us.  We know that there have been so many praying for us; and we have found ourselves humbled and acutely aware of the power of prayer.  After going through this, my prayers for those who are struggling with health issues have changed completely!   

Thank you!  Being part of the family of God is such a blessing. 

He Leads Us Step by Step

It has been four weeks since Rob had his surgery; and he is recovering well.  There still are periods of extreme fatigue and weakness; but they occur after a full day of work or when he has physically expended a lot of energy.  This is all to be expected as his body is recovering and getting used to the thyroid medication he has started.  We are so thankful.

Through the course of this time we have prayed for many things.  One of them being that the Lord would give wisdom to Rob’s doctor.  This past week we have seen evidence that God is answering that prayer and we are so thankful.  I called the doctor to find out what our next course of action should be and if it was me who was supposed to schedule with the next doctor to get a date on the calendar for Rob’s radiation appointment.  (I thought the doctor had said that the new doctor’s office would call and get an appointment set up for us; but it had been two weeks since that appointment and we still had not heard anything – so I figured I would check in.) 

 The doctor told me when I called that I was on her list that day to call and that the reason for the delay had been from their end – I had understood correctly.  She then went on to explain that she had sent the referral and the orders to the new doctor on Tuesday.  However, after she had the orders sent she felt that she might be missing something and that she needed to get another second and third opinion in regards to Rob’s next course of treatment.  She told me that she was referring him to a team of Endocrinologists and would have them take a look at everything and together as a team they would take over Rob’s care.  She explained that Rob’s cancer is so rare and so seldom seen that she wanted to make sure there was not something that she was missing.  (Only 3% of all thyroid cancer is the type that Rob had.)  I breathed thanks to God; because to me it was obvious that He was at work in giving her wisdom.  She told me that she had canceled the orders to the radiologist and would have the new team of doctors get in touch with me by the following day.

Well, on Friday I got a call from Rob’s doctor’s office about the appointment.  The nurse told me that the team of doctors that they had wanted us to meet with did not accept our insurance.  I was a little disappointed at that information; but I heard the nurse perk up and tell me that she had “exciting news though!”  She went on to explain that there is an Endocrinologists Conference where lots of different Endocrinologists come in and meet for lecture and meetings along with radiologists and Nuclear Medicine doctors. The conference just “happens” to be on Tuesday and they have agreed to hear Rob’s case and make recommendations and establish a plan for his future treatments.  The nurse told me that this was an excellent opportunity and that if it was her husband with the cancer this was exactly what she would want to happen for his care! 

So, they meet on Tuesday and will develop a plan for treatment and follow up care for Rob.  The doctor told me that with the type of cancer he has we are looking at long term care and monitoring his cancer.  So, we are brought face to face with the fact that cancer will be part of our lives for a while; but also encouraged because it is obvious that God is going before us, opening doors that we did not even know existed and is giving us complete peace to trust Him as we go through the next several months.  God is so good!

So, if the Lord would prompt you to pray on Tuesday morning – we would appreciate it!  Pray that the doctors will have wisdom as they discuss and plan and that they would develop a treatment plan that will be exactly what the Lord would have for us.  We are so thankful that God gave us a doctor that is willing for input from others and is doing her best to make sure that she covers all of her bases.    We most of all are in awe with our God who cares about us and daily shows us that we are under His care and protection. 

Thanks for your prayers with us.  They have been an encouragement to us .

Blessings,

~Martie

Finding Normal

Just the other day I was driving home from taking James to do his chores for the farmer he works for, when I noticed that some of the leaves on the bushes that stand alongside of the country road were turning red.  I thought that odd that they were turning colors –already – in the middle of summer.  Then it hit me – that summer has just about ended and fall is ready to begin.

I keep forgetting that.

To me, it feels like summer has just started. 

I feel like I have lost the entire summer.

Taken Spring '14

In the spring Rob and I had been busy planning out our summer.  There was the camping trip that we were going to get in this year.  This would be the year that we would go camping all together as a family.  There were the hikes that we had planned up South Mountain.  Several weekends were set aside so  we could spend time as a family hiking and packing picnic lunches.  Then there was the trip to the ocean.  Together as a family we would see the water together and take it all in.  There was the garden we were going to plant and tomatoes that we would harvest come fall to can and have for the winter months.

Then we heard the word ‘CANCER’.

Life seemed to stop. 

My computer time was not looking through Pinterest to get ideas on how to pack the car, or awesome camping meals, or looking for pictures of the ocean.  I spent my times in front of the screen researching types of cancer and options for treatments.  Then there was the garden plot that was dug up fertilized and ready for the tomato plants that has turned out to be very fertile soil this year for a wide variety of weeds .  I look out my front window and some very healthy, hearty and thick garden of weeds growing in the garden area!

Instead of my summer unfolding the way we had planned, my summer has been divided up into segments:    waiting for a week to go by so we can get in to see the doctor for the appointment, waiting for the date for the biopsy, and another week for the results to get back. This has been the summer that I have waited.  Week by week – test by test – appointment by appointment - and without realizing it time was going by while I was waiting. 

Getting Ready to start First Grade!

With the cancer surgery behind us, life is starting to take on a normal feel.   The past few weeks I have felt completely and totally drained.  It has been hard to even put to words an explanation for my thoughts and feeling.  On one side I am overjoyed that Rob’s surgery turned out the way that it did and that we saw God work in a wonderful way; on the other hand I find my brain filing away all that has happened in the past several weeks and trying to find a new sense of balance and order in our everyday lives. 

This past weekend I came down with a cold.  God sometimes brings sickness to us to help us be able to have time to think and to rest.  I have rested – deeply rested (and it has been just what I needed).  I have had time to regroup myself emotionally and mentally.  On Sunday, I was still not feeling well and stayed home from church to rest and cough in private by myself; and not share my germs with the rest of the congregation.  The house was so quiet and it was wonderful to sit on the porch in my robe and PJ’s and just read my Bible and talk to the Lord.  Again, the Great Physician came and poured out His medication on my heart and soul and brought a real sense of balance to my thoughts.  It was wonderful!

So, I have wrapped my mind around the fact that summer has gone – and it has been one of the most eventful and growing summers we have had as a family.  Fall is here and with it the new school year needs to take shape and be planned out.  We will start next week – (Lord willing and the creek don’t rise).  I am busy getting our school schedules figured out. *** On a funny note, I took a few moments to take a quiz on Facebook to see how much of a control freak I am – and found that I passed that test with an “A” – if they were giving letter grades for the quiz scores.  Hmm, that explains the notebook that is being assembled for our new fall schedule containing detailed lists of all the rooms that will be cleaned, when they will be cleaned and how they will be cleaned.  It will also explain why the school schedule will be color coded for each child.   I am getting just a little bit excited to start school; and it is not because I like to control  organize things!  I was not sure if I would be able to find it in me to get enthusiastic about the new school year; but it has and is happening!  

Abbey treated me to a Manicure/ Pedicure and Sweet Frog Treat

It feels good to finally feel like we are getting back to a normal again. Yes, we still have Rob's radiation treatment coming up - and that will make things different again for a while; but life is starting to feel 'even'.   I have had time to look through Pinterest to figure out how to store the kid’s boots on the front porch, have looked up some homestead blogs that have brought about ideas that I would like to try with next year’s garden.  I had James order me some chickens and have been busy looking at coops and types of feed I will need – and picking out names for my girls.    Slowly, it is feeling good to getting back to living again.  

 God is so good!