The Right Choice


We were eating dinner when my ten year old daughter asked the question: “What’s abortion?”

It hung in the air – over the dinner table – waiting for an answer. How do you explain something so horrific?  “It’s when they take a baby out of a Mommy’s tummy before it can live on its own…and let it die.”


 She couldn’t understand, why people would make a Mommy take a baby out of her tummy before it was ready to be born.

I tried to sound gracious; but there isn’t a gracious way to truthfully explain abortion.  Both my children were unable to understand what they were hearing. I quietly, stated it in a term they could understand:   “It’s murder.” 




My husband explained that some people don’t believe a baby is a baby until it can live outside of the mommy’s tummy on its own.  That some people say that it is just a mass of cells until it is born. That some people feel that if a mom doesn’t want it in her tummy – it’s in her body and she has the right to take it out. He explained that some moms choose to have an abortion because they find out that something is wrong with their baby. 

Anna’s response was short but profound, “But that’s selfish.”



It’s true, if you tell a lie long enough and loud enough, people will believe it.  But history has proven that one of deception’s greatest enemies is time.  Time has a way of revealing truth.  Truth exposes liars for who they are.  Time revealed Hitler’s wicked heart -- the blood of thousands cries from the grave begging for justice.  God Himself will avenge their deaths – justice will be served.  History will repeat itself, abortion will have its day of reckoning.



My son’s emotions rose within him and his words spilled out, “That’s stupid – no, that’s way beyond stupid!  How many babies does this happens to?”    I told him a lot, but his autistic mind wanted a number.  So, Rob pulled out his phone and googled the question.



The awful statistics came up:  in America alone, three thousand babies’ hearts are made to stop beating – every single day! Let that number sink in – 3,000. 

Zak’s mind was starting to connect the dots, “Like with me – and autism?   So, some people would find out that their baby has autism and would just kill it?”



I explained that things like autism can’t be seen in the tests they do before birth; but genetic issues like Down syndrome or birth defects would show up before a baby was born.

“Do I have that…Down syndrome?”  His fork has stopped midair.



 “No,” I thought, but didn’t say, “you have Autism, Tourette’s syndrome, Cognitive and Developmental delays, Chronic hypertension – caused, most likely, from Fetal alcohol syndrome which has also caused the hearing loss that necessitates your two hearing aids.”  

I looked into his eyes, and answered truthfully, “No, you don’t have Down syndrome.”



“I have lots of issues…why wasn’t I aborted?” I marveled at his deductive reasoning. 

My words came out with conviction, “Because your biological mom made the right decision!”





For a moment, I thought of all the children that will never be.  All the laughter that will never be heard.  All the beauty that will never be enjoyed.  This ‘way beyond stupid’ thing called abortion has changed life more than we realize.   
Each year, around the world, over fifty million babies’ hearts are made to stop beating – and while their lives are tragically gone, we rarely contemplate that our lives suffer because of it.  So many wonderful things that could be added to life, and family, and community are just - gone.  Life goes on without realizing how much - or how many - are missing. 






The four of us began clearing off the table - adoption has made us a family.  Both of them were “unplanned” and had mothers who had to make a decision.  They chose life.  Every single day their choice makes my world more colorful, more beautiful, and more wonderful! I will forever be grateful they chose life – and in turn added richly to mine. 




The Answer

The assignment was given – and I was excited.  I would be able to write about someone I had admired for years.   I had this one! Until I started the research - only to find that the hero – was just a legend. History had been rewritten and retold to make it sound better than it was, the man bigger than he was.

I felt deceived.  Disappointed. 

But what happens, though, when it’s not a historical figure – but faith itself?


Photo: Abbey Grace Photography

What happens when my faith in God and His promises seem to point to the fact that I have been deceived?

*When the “No evil shall befall thee”…. Has to be reconciled with the fact that someone’s evil heart has stolen away something that can never be returned?

*When the “host that is encamped against me” doesn’t fall - but prospers?

*When the “delivery from the pestilence” phrase seems to mock as you hear your children coughing in their beds - the flu virus hitting harder and lingering longer than you ever thought possible?

*When the cancer you were sure would be healed – has lingered and hospice has been called?

Have you ever been at the point where you question in your heart… “Maybe, just maybe, it’s not true”?


What do you do when your faith matches John the Baptist’s?  He found himself stuck in a prison, having preached to the crowds that Jesus was the Messiah , only to find himself – day after day - locked up; without any hope of release (or even a possible rescue from the One he had been sure was THE ONE).   With each passing day, the thought grew - “Somehow, I got it wrong”.  “Somehow, there’s been a mistake”. 

What happens when - in regards to your faith - it appears you've misunderstood, misinterpreted, or made a huge mistake?

John sincerely, and in utter desperation, sent his disciples to ask the question that he had been mulling over day after day – night after night:  

 “Are you the One – or should we look for another?”



It was Jesus’ simple answered that has touched my heart in times of deep discouragement and doubt:  “Come unto me…. And I will give you rest.”

When our faith is gone - Christ Himself is the answer. 

He calls – “Come to Me.” - not to a life that turns out just like we planned, or is free from troubles – but to HIMSELF. 

Photo Credit:  Abbey Grace Photography




From SAHM to FTWM - Lessons Learned


It has been a year since I started working full time out of the home.  Getting a job outside of the home was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make.  Being a stay at home mom was all I had ever known; and to be honest with you – it was all that I thought I would ever know.  I had never really envisioned myself working outside the home.   When God opened up a spot for Zak in a special needs Christian school Rob and I began talking about me getting a job outside the home.  The thought of me being gone from the house all day terrified me; I couldn’t see how everything would get done if I was gone eight hours each day. 

This year has been filled with lots of learning curves; but it has been an exciting year as I have done something I have never done before.    Here are some things that I have learned this first year of being a working mom:





 


*I LOVE my job.  

I had no idea how much I would enjoy going to work and interacting and engaging with other people.  I love going to work and seeing my coworkers.  I love being part of the team where I work.  I love the challenges that I have at work that are different than I had at home; and I love getting a paycheck for the work I am doing.  I never imagined that I would love working outside the home as much as I do.



*Being a SAHM prepared me for being a FTWM

More than once in this past year I have found myself amazed at how things I did as a stay at home prepared me for working outside the home.  Time management, laundry organization, planning school work – all of that equipped me with the knowledge I needed to do a lot of the tasks I have been given this past year.    




*Teamwork Matters     

Whether I like to admit it or not, more than once I have played the martyr when it came to my roll as a SAHM.   Sometimes it was the laundry, meal planning or just housework – but there were a lot of times I just felt like I could not get it all done.  However, I was reluctant to accept help or accepted it with guilt because the affairs of the house were my “job” and when I wasn’t able to get them all done I felt like I was failing.   This year I have learned (at it took a while for me to get this one) that my husband and I are a team.   He helps me when I have a lot on my plate – just like I try to help him when he has a lot on his.  It just makes for a happier home when everyone is working as a team; but that leads to another lesson I have had to learn:



*It doesn’t have to be done my way

Ouch!  This one has hurt.   Sometimes the reason I didn’t want the help was because I wanted things done exactly how I wanted it.   While order and details are important sometimes it is just better to allow others to do it their way for the sake of getting it done.  By far this was the hardest lesson for me – but the one that has brought the most peace to our everyday life. 



*I love Family Time

When I was a SAHM and homeschooling I was with my kids all the time.  Don’t get me wrong – I am thankful that I was able to be home and spend so much time with my kids while they were growing.   I consider it a huge blessing.   This year my time has been divided with home and work; and I have found that when I am home with my family I really focus on them and enjoy being home.  I value it more than I did as a SAHM.  I also have found myself doing away with distractions when I am at home in the evenings and on weekends.  I want to be 100% there with them when I am there with them. 



*If Your Mindset is Wrong – Change

Another ouch.   In the stay at home mom world and the homeschooling world there can be on overarching mindset that working outside the home is WRONG.  The hardest part about me working outside the home was having to evaluate if I believed that it was wrong for me to be employed outside of the home.    As I prayed about it and evaluated it I had accept that some philosophies that I had accepted through the years were not completely biblical.  The Bible clearly teaches that the first roll of the wife is to care and oversee for the needs of her household.  That has been and always will be my first and highest calling.  It is not my only calling.   Once I evaluated this and humbled myself to what the scripture teaches (and not what other people’s opinions were) there was such freedom to fully embrace this next chapter of our lives. 



What a year it has been!  Overall I have learned that a Mom does what needs to be done to meet the needs for her family and her children.  Zak has thrived in his new school; and Anna has blossomed at hers.  I have enjoyed watching God unfold His plan for us in this new adventure.   It’s neat to know that my time as a SAHM was part of God’s plan for my life and for my children and that this new chapter of our lives is a part of God’s plan for us and for our children’s future.  How blessed I have been to have been able to experience both! 

I trust that you are content and thriving at the place God has you in your time of life right now; and know that God is always growing us and preparing us for what is coming up ahead.   No stage of life last forever.  Take in all God has for you now – and be ever learning for what He has for you in the future. 

Thanks for stopping by.  I’m so glad you did!

Blessings,
~Martie