The week had been long. There had been the full schedule of a normal week. Getting kids to designated places, packing lunches, making phone calls, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wondering when that stack of ironing was ever going to get done. When life gets busy – it is easy to lose sight of the eternal; and not only had I lost sight of the eternal that week – I had failed.
Failed to live above all of the temporary things.
Failed to see the eternal.
Failed to live out my faith.
I walked into church feeling somewhat defeated. Sure, I had confessed my sin; but I still felt - well, like a failure. I had my mental list of all the past weeks shortcomings. While I had acknowledged my sin to God – I felt badly that I couldn’t promise Him that it wouldn’t happen again. I wanted to; but I know me.
I went to church focused on someone other than Him – and I was defeated.
Then our voices were lifted in praise to God as we sang the anthem of the redeemed – Amazing Grace. The chains of sin are gone. I sat in silence and listened as the entire congregation lifted their voices in praise to God for all He had done. I imagined that in a small way I was getting a glimpse of what it will sound like when all the redeemed of every nation, tribe, and tongue sing with one voice of the Amazing Grace they have tasted.
I whispered a prayer to God, “I wish I didn’t’ fail you so much. You deserve so much more.”
This Sunday we were partaking of the Lord’s Supper. I thought about my previous week – and wondered if I should partake. The Pastor stood and read a verse of scripture before handing out the plates filled with the bread:
“For I have received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, that the Lord Jesus, the same night in which he was betrayed, took bread…”
My mind fixated on that phrase –“ THE SAME NIGHT”…
The plan had been made – the betrayal perhaps had already happened in his heart – the same night – right before it all happened – Jesus looked into Judas’ eyes and invited Him to break bread with Him. Jesus called him to Himself the same night that Judas would betray him.
He called Peter to Himself the same night Peter would deny him. He broke bread with those closest to Him on this earth the same night that they would forsake Him; and He knew that in a few hours He would struggle alone – forsaken by all. Despite all of this, He desired their fellowship, He wanted to be close to them – to remind them He loved them. He wanted them to remember Him and His love for them – because that same night they would walk away from Him.
This Sunday, He called to me just like He did with the twelve. He asked me to fellowship with Him – to remember Him. He called me to Himself.
The very purpose of the Lord’s Table is to remember Him.
My thoughts changed from looking at the past week, the failures, the shortcomings – and I fixed my eyes on Him. I was overcome with the price He paid for me and I whispered the only prayer I could, “Thank you for loving me.”
|Photo Credit: Rachel Spurgeon|
Jesus Paid it all.
All to Him I owe.
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.