Knocking at My Door

“Behold I stand at the door and knock; if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me”  Revelation 3:20

I have known the verse since I was a little girl in Sunday school.  I remember vividly looking at the picture of Jesus standing at a closed door knocking.  I sang the song that went with the verse:  (I even knew all the motions!)

In my innocent childlike mind I dreamt of Jesus knocking at my hearts door, begging to come in and save me from my sins.  I would look at the picture and see how intently He was looking at the closed door.  To me it was the door of someone’s heart.  I did not want it to be mine.  I wanted Him to forgive me of all my sins and to have an open heart’s door for Jesus.

Imagine my surprise, when I found out that verse is not talking about salvation!.  To me, Jesus had knocked and years ago – I had answered the knock and let Him in.  The door knocking was all done.  Jesus was ‘in my heart’. 

Christ does call men to be saved from their sins (“whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord – shall be saved!”).   In the context of this passage, however, we find the knocking Jesus standing outside the door of Christians.   This was a letter written to a church - the church of Laodicea. It was the same church that God described as lukewarm.  

There have been times I have been lukewarm.  Apathetic.   The definition of apathy is: a lack of feeling or emotion, a lack of interest of concern.  Apathy happens when what should have been ‘holy’ and reverent”  becomes merely “habitual and routine”.   It’s when my quiet time with the Lord isn’t worshiping Him; but rather just doing my time.  It’s when I go to church because it something that I have always done on Sunday’s.  Another week starting – another day for church.    It’s easy for apathy to become the default mode if you have lived the Christian life for a long time.   

What causes us to become apathetic?


1.  Self Sufficiency

We see in this passage that part of the church’s reason for apathy was because “they were rich and increased with goods.”  The passage says that their mindset was that they did not need anything.  Living in prosperity is ripe ground for breeding apathy.  Compared to the rest of the world – American are a prosperous people.  For the most part, we can get what we need – and most of us have a LOT of what we want. 
Many of the verses in Proverbs deal with riches and caution the readers to be careful of how easy it is to fall into the traps that having riches brings.  In fact one Proverb words it this way:  “… give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me:  Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the LORD?...”  When we are void of needs - we cease seeing God as our provider.

Not always are our needs of a material nature.  Sometimes we become self sufficient in our Christian lives.  Sometimes I forget that I have spiritual needs. Sometimes I forget that I cannot live the Christian life in my own strength.  There have been times in the past that I have lost sight of just how spiritually weak I am.  When my daily walk as a Christian is done in my own strength I become lukewarm – apathetic.  When I don’t see the need to depend upon God in my day to day life, my heart grows cold.

2. Bad Eyesight

The letter to the church warned them that they were not seeing themselves as they really were.  The fact that they had need of nothing had blinded their eyes in seeing who they really were.  They thought they were fine; but God described them as “miserable, poor, blind, and naked”.  To God they were shameful – but they themselves thought they looked fine.  They were not seeing themselves the way God saw them – and they were missing a lot!    Spiritually, they were walking around in utter shame.    Imagine having your vision that off!  (It’s like the classic story of the Emperor’s New Clothes; but from an eternal perspective!) 

 Apathy blinds us to spiritual truth and standing.  So, what is the solution to apathy?


“Behold, I stand at the door and knock:  if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”

He is knocking at the hearts of His children calling them to a life of sweet communion with Him.  His knocking is for us – His children.  He wants to have close fellowship with us!  He is knocking.  Have you opened the door to Him?  He desires to come in and dine with you.   Jesus Christ is the cure for apathy.  Does He not regularly knock upon our hearts and implore us to open the door for Him?  Have you heard Him knocking?    

One thing I noticed about the passage is that He does the knocking; but it is my responsibility to open the door for Him to come in.  Even though I am His child, Christ never pushes Himself on me.  He knocks and lets me know His desire is to be with me – to fellowship with me; but it is I who must open the door.  How many times the busyness of life has made me think I haven’t the time for a cup of tea with my Savior.  As long as the door stays shut – as long as I am too busy to answer - He remains outside.  The fellowship never happens.  The relationship that could be deepening as I get to know Him more – stays stagnant and unmoving.  Lukewarm.  While my Christian life could be vibrant and exciting because I am in fellowship with His Spirit; I find myself apathetic - just going through the motions.

Do you hear the knocking?  Have you responded?  Invite Him in – He wants to fellowship with you.  Open the door – He will come in!  Find the time to enjoy your Guest – you will never regret opening the door and inviting Him in.  Never! 

Thanks for stopping by, I am so glad you did!


Month in Review - March 2015

This month has been a busy one; but a great month.  Spring is starting to arrive here in North Carolina, and it feels wonderful!  We have had a couple of really warm days and the kids have enjoyed playing outside and getting out in the sunshine.  It's hard to believe how much the weather can change in one month.  Right after I posted the last month in review we got a snowstorm .  The snow was absolutely beautiful.  What a wonderful Creator we have - no matter what the weather - He always gives us beauty to enjoy.  God is good!

As a family we have had a lot going on this month.  Abbey is getting ready for graduation, so there has been a lot of shopping to get outfits and stuff ready for that.  She also went to Charleston, South Carolina for her senior trip.  She said that it was the best time of her life!  She had a lot of fun. She also celebrated her birthday while she was gone.  (We had a celebration for her when she got home.)  This was the first birthday that she was not at home for her special day, I guess that is a sign that she is growing up.   Abbey also competed in yet another 5K.  She made her best time yet!  

While Abbey was away on her trip, I was babysitting.  It was a switch of sorts, sponsor the senior trip – and I’ll watch your little ones. The couple that works with the teens in our church agreed to chaperone the trip.  Then when we realized that both seniors were girls – the wife of the couple went while her husband stayed here and worked.  I took their two little ones while he was working. It was wonderful to have  little kids in the house again.  I LOVED it.  It was sad to pack up all the little toys and send them home when Abbey got back.  Maybe we should think about adopting again.  Rob and I sure talked about that a lot when we had the little ones here.  Perhaps someday.

James has been busy finishing up the last leg of his drivers education. This past week he received his certificate saying he passed the driver’s education at the local high school.  He started asking, as soon as he got home with the certificate, when we could take him to go get his permit.   I am having a hard time thinking we have more kids driving.  I will admit, it is nice having several people that can drive.  Makes running errands a lot easier. James' calf is doing well and growing like crazy.  He is eating so much food!  James had the opportunity this past month to attend a 4-H workshop.  In the workshop classes he learned about fitting and feeding calves for showmanship.  He enjoyed it very much.  I think this boy was born to be a farmer - he loves this stuff!

We are getting used to hearing the horse and buggy come by our house when the Amish family heads to town.  We were able to walk up to their just built house and pay a visit.  Anna is just awestruck that we have “Little House in the Prairie” people living just up the road.  She had so much fun visiting them and seeing their place.  Anna and I made some homemade bread for the visit up there.  I am sure it did not taste anything like the bread she makes – but we tried.  I will say that the cinnamon rolls that they brought when the paid a visit to our house were like nothing I had ever tasted before!  Zak has enjoyed watching them break a horse on the road right in front of our house.  Seems the hills here a bit more steep and curvy than the roads the horse is used to going on in Kentucky.  I thought when they first moved here that there must be a part of having a horse and buggy as transportation that would be nice.  At least you would not have vehicle trouble like we seem to have from time to time.  Then, I saw the horse refuse to go up the hill – and all they had to do to persuade her that she had to go.  I can say emphatically, the Amish have vehicle trouble – just not as expensive as when our van decides not to go. 

Anna had her yearly checkup.  They did a hearing test on her – and she passed just fine.  We were thankful.  Zak has had some issues with his medications and we are having to make several adjustments.  I am bracing myself for the curve that comes with a medication adjustment.  We had been told by our doctor and others that these teen years can cause some challenges with special needs.  We are just taking it a day at a time and asking God to lead and guide us in the right decisions for Zak. If the Lord lays Zak on your heart could your pray for him?  I am foreseeing some bumps in the road till we get the adjustments made.  We are so thankful that God gave Zak to us.   We cannot imagine how boring our lives would be without him. 

Rachel and two of her friends came in contact with an abandoned dog who was about to give birth. A few days after they got the very pregnant dog, they found themselves helping to deliver eleven puppies!    (Nine puppies have survived and are thriving!)  This month Rachel moved the pups and the Momma to our place and we awake in the mornings to little puppies barks and squeals as they try to get Rachel’s attention for their morning feeding.  The puppies are really cute; but I keep telling the kids (and myself) that they don’t stay cute forever.  We have had good response on people interested in the puppies and we hope to find good homes for ALL of them.  It has been a great experience for Zak and Anna to have the little puppies to play with in the afternoons.

I will be meeting this week with a sister blogger.  (She has agreed to do a guest post on my blog!)  I am looking forward to meeting her in person and getting to know her better.  We had agreed to meet for lunch; but our husband’s wanted to meet each other.  We have a double date planned before the month’s end.    I’m looking forward to meeting her.

It is really feeling like spring.  Just this week we had temps near 80 and the trees are starting to bloom.  The kids have been enjoying playing outside a lot.  The chickens have had more playtime with the kids and Zak's fort continues to be worked on and built up (he has some serious thoughts about expansion that he has been purposing to Rob how he needs more wood.)  We have enjoyed taking walks and seeing the flowers blooming on the side of the road.  

I have been spending a lot of time meditating and studying the faithfulness of God to me.  This month He has been so real to me.  How wonderful to know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and will never leave me. I am so thankful that there is nothing I can (or can't do) that will cause Him to abandon me.  How secure I am in my Father's love for me.  He has shown me over and over again just how much He loves me. I am blessed.

I am so thankful for my family.   There is a part of me that finds it bitter sweet that the kids are growing up so quickly.  It seems like just yesterday they were all little tiny babies – and now we are planning graduations and college classes.  How did that happen so fast?  Yet, at the same time – I love the relationship I have with my kids.  I enjoy being with them and watching their lives unfold as God leads them.  That part of parenting is awesome!  I truly enjoy the time I get to spend with each one of my kids.  I am so thankful for my family!  God has been so good to me.

I trust you have had a great month.  I am looking forward to warmer temperatures and the day I get to pack my fleece-lined tights away for the warmer months!  

Hope you have a great weekend.


Why I Stopped Having "My Devotions"

I was challenged when I was in upper elementary school to block out a period of time each day to read my Bible and spend time in prayer.  I loved making lists and planning schedules and each time I did I would make sure that included in my schedule was a block for “My Devotions”.  

During “my devotion” block of time, I would pull out my daily reading list that I had planned out, open my Bible and read the assigned Bible passage for the day.  I would quickly spend a few minutes in prayer (which consisted of asking God to help me have a good day).   I would close up my Bible, pull out the day’s “to-do” list and put a check next to the words: devotions, and another check next to the word:  prayer. (It always felt so good to get two things checked off my list so early in my day.)  I did that for years.  There were times when I read the Bible and learned new things.  However, most of the time it just felt really good to accomplish something – and feel like I was going to have a good day because I had given my first hours awake to the Lord in Bible reading and prayer.    

Several years ago, the Holy Spirit began challenging me about this time I labeled as “My Devotions.”  He began showing me where I had taken something that should have been precious and meaningful and had turned it into a legalistic, self gratifying, religious exercise.  I started to see where I had turned “my devotions” into a time of religious work and not reverent worship.

Here are the areas where the Holy Spirit showed me where I was wrong:

1. The ‘Check –it- off- the -List’ mentality

By nature, I love making lists and watching the list get smaller as I accomplish things throughout my day.  That is fine and well for housework and school goals; but when it comes to having a relationship with someone – the goal for interaction should be to spend time with that person – not to check it off our list so we can move onto the next thing.  I would find it offensive if my husband did that to me in our marriage relationship; yet that was what I was doing to God every morning.  I was more concerned with the check-mark on my list than the relationship I was supposed to be cultivating. 

2. The ‘God- in- a- Box” Mentality

 I did not read my Bible or pray outside of “my devotion” time.  There were times that God would prompt me to sit down and read a passage or two; but I would argue it away.  I reasoned that I had so much to do on that day’s list that I just didn’t have time to sit down and read more of my Bible – especially when I already had had “my devotions” earlier that morning!  In essence, I was putting God in a box.  I would get the Bible out and play with it for the designated amount of time in my schedule and then put it back when the time was up.  My devotions” was the time when I could think about God; but when the time was up – so were my thoughts of Him. 

3. Frustration When I Didn’t get “My Devotion” Fix

Is there anything more carnal that a Mom that gets mad at her kids and loses her temper because they interrupted her during her “my devotion” time?  The Holy Spirit brought great conviction about the attitudes of my heart when I was not able to finish my planned out “my devotion” time.  (It is kind of hypocritical to be reading your Bible and fuming mad at your kids because they interrupted your time.)  Yeah – major conviction on that one!  There was also frustration if I was up late at night or in the middle of the night with a sick child.  The thought line I had was, “hurry up and get to sleep – I have to get up early in the morning to have “my devotions”!.  Somehow, I’m pretty sure God didn’t want me ministering to my children when they needed me most with a spirit of frustration because I was not going to get to have “my devotions” when I was scheduled to in the morning. 

4.  Guilt When I Didn’t Get to “My Devotions

I cannot begin to tell you the guilt that I would have when I did not have “My Devotions”.  Major guilt.  I would confess it to God – (over and over again).  Try the next day to do better, by getting up early for ‘my devotions’. I would even try getting up earlier than normal so I could get caught up on the reading from my planned out list.  When the guilt got so bad I would just give up on the ‘me devotion’ time for a while.  (No one likes to feel guilty all the time); but alas, that led to more guilty feelings.  Yeah the cycle was not fun at all!  My Devotions” should have been a time of anticipation of getting to spend time with God; but when I was stuck on this cycle, it was dread.  There were times “My Devotions” actually pulled me away from God; because in my mind He was disappointed that I had failed Him once again in being faithful to “My Devotions”.    

5.  Using “My Devotions” as a Good-Luck Charm

I remember one night crying to my husband and telling him how bad my day had been.  The kids were all little (and when you have lots of little kids in the house - you have bad days…).   As I was crying and lamenting to him about my ‘terrible, horrible, no good – VERY bad day’, I remember making this statement:   “I don’t know what went wrong.  I got up and had “my devotions” today!  I thought that was supposed to help me not have days like this!” 

The Holy Spirit began to show me that I was trusting in my work and effort (having “my devotions”) as the solution to bad days.  That is self dependence (no matter how many verses I read from my reading plan that morning!).  I was depending on my effort of getting up and reading my Bible, for such and such an amount of time, to give me strength for the good day I would have.  (Of course it would be a good day because of the faithfulness I had made towards the Christian discipline of “My Devotions”).   While this may sound ok – it indeed is not.  The ONLY one that I can depend upon to get me through the day is Jesus Christ.  No effort of my own is worthy of my dependence.  There is no strength in me – even if I did read my Bible for 30 minutes and checked it off my list before the kids got out of bed.  I was depending on “my devotions” and not on my God!  There is a huge difference! 

The very word devotion means worship done in private. Ever so slowly, the Holy Spirit showed me the error of my thinking.    I needed to be spending time with God in devotion (worship) to Him, not in some religious good luck charm ritual.      I started to see how much of a burden it had been to have “my devotions”.  I stopped having “my devotions” and instead focused on living my days in devotion to the God who saved me.  It completely changed my life!   

I hope you will join me next Wed for Part Two:  Moving from Devotions to Devotion.

Thanks for stopping by, I’m so glad you did.