Fall Beauty

The fall weather here is beautiful.  Thought I would share some pics from my daughter's playtime in the leaves.  Enjoy:

Thanks for stopping by.  I am so glad you did!

SIDS Awareness Month

October is National SIDS awareness month.  SIDS stands for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. 

Our daughter died in December of 1997, those four capital letters are at the end of her autopsy report.

SIDS changed my life forever

This month I finished the book that I had tried for so long to write.  (For whatever reasons I could not write it before now.)  Through the third week of the month of October I pretty much locked myself away and wrote and wrote and wrote.  I cried and wept.  I remembered.

I remembered the day she was born.  I remembered her smile and her laugh.  I remembered how happy we were together as a family.  I remember finding her.  I remembered and felt again, the fear that gripped my heart.  I remembered the EMT working.  I remembered friends.  I remembered the funeral.  I remembered standing in front of her casket and wondering how life could go on.

I remembered and I cried.  I missed her as if it had been just yesterday.  It hurt.

I kept writing. I kept remembering.

I remembered my shattered faith.  I remembered all my questions.  I remembered the "WHY?" question.  Then, I remembered  how God had shown me His promises.  I remembered how real God became to me during that time.  I remember how He healed my broken heart.  I remembered how the promises of God's word that were so dear to me at that time.

I wrote and I wrote.  I remembered and then, I was challenged.

Nothing happens in our lives without a purpose.  Every event gives us opportunities.  My life's purpose is to glorify God and to proclaim Christ.  Ally dying gave me an opportunity to proclaim Christ to people I would have never met without her home going. 

Then I asked myself, have I seized that purpose.   Has Christ received all the glory He can from that situation.

I thought, and I realized.  I can do more.  I can proclaim Christ more through this situation. 

So I come to my blog and I want to tell you that this month is SIDS awareness month.  I want to do more to help parents through their time of grief.  I want to do more to tell them about God and His love for them during that difficult time.  I want to proclaim Christ MORE! 

Because SIDS changed my life forever - but it was God ordained.  God allowed it and I know Him better today than I would have had Ally not been taken to Heaven early.  Her life - and her death were a blessing and through them I have understood more clearly the meaning of the word "Hope" (her middle name).

I want for Christ to be glorified through my life and through every situation that comes my way.  I want to proclaim Christ.  After I wrote the book - and as I was reading through my journals God showed me a verse.  Isaiah 61:1-3  This has become my life verse. 

God brought be across this site.  Will you go over and visit and will you pray for the parent's whose hearts have been broken by the sudden death of their precious baby?  I have committed to praying for them.  I remember the hurt.  I remember the grief.  I remember the healing.  So, I will pray that during their time of loss they will find Hope. 

That God may be glorified!

The Hike

We recently took some of the kids up to a nearby mountain to hike up the trail to the falls.  It was beautiful!  We loved being there.

Zak was so excited to see the mountain.  However, when Anna heard we were going to a mountain, she broke down in tears and started saying over and over again, "I want to go home!  I want to go home!"  I am not sure what caused the word 'mountain' to cause such fear; but she was totally afraid.  We told her that Dad was with her and he would keep her safe.  She sat quietly and then said, "I know!"  Then she started quoting her Bible verse from Patch Club.  "What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee."  Then she said with full assurance, "I don't have to be afraid, God is with me!"  It was a blessing to me as a Mom to see that simple faith; and I thanked God for Miss Debbie who taught her the verse! 

When we got to the trail we had so much fun.  Anna quickly realized that she did not need to be afraid.  The only time she was afraid was on the stairs; and Daddy took care of that - and carried her down. 

Hope you enjoy the pictures.  It was absolutely beautiful.  I love living in North Carolina.  Such beauty.

Trust you are able to enjoy building memories and heart strings with your family.  Thanks for stopping by, I am so glad you did.


Fear is Conquered!

Recently a local church hosted a blood drive.  This is the first time I have ever given blood.  (Mom, as afraid as I was of needles when I was little - you would have never dreamed I would do this!)

But...  I did!
I guess having four babies prepares you for just about anything!!

So glad I was given the opportunity to do this.  I plan on making it part of my life.  Just makes sense. 

Hope you are enjoying your family and finding things to do to help others around you.
Thanks for stopping by, I am so glad you did.

Meeting Needs Through Christ

I believe that God has the power to speak to me from the clouds, drop down bread from the heavens and fill my evening table with food enough for my family and anyone else who wanted to join us for dinner. 
I believe that God could miraculously take a child whose brain is damaged and make is to be completely and totally whole and new – without a blemish or sign of previous in normality. 
 I know God can do anything. 
I believe that the miracle working God that I read about in the Old Testament and the New Testament could do those same exact miracles today.  The power is still there.  His love is still the same.  I know that God still can work miracles by the power of His hand.  I also know that sometimes He uses a different way to work mightily in the lives of those whom He loves.
Sometimes He uses others.  Sometimes He uses us.  He lays a burden on our hearts; or He allows us to see the needs of another person.  He then, through the working of His Holy Spirit enables us to meet the need of that person through His power!  It’s exciting to think that I could be God’s channel wherewith He desires to show Himself mighty to another person.  Through this imperfect body God’s power can be seen to others as clearly as the Children of Israel saw Him work when they ate bread from Heaven.  Perhaps the most one of the most amazing concepts to me is that God desires to use frail, imperfect human beings to show Himself to the World today!
I wonder how many times I have missed the opportunity.  How many mornings I have been too busy to spend time with God and allow Him to lead me and direct me.  You see, it is a working of supernatural power and myself in my own flesh and through my own vision cannot see.  It’s the gentle nudging that alerts me to the eyes of someone who has entered into my presence.  It’s the conscious awareness of the needs of someone, perhaps a child who comes to church every Sunday in the same clothes because they only have that one set of dress clothes.   God alerts me to the need and then I am given the opportunity to be His hands and use His resources that He has given to me to meet that need. 
A kind word.
 A bag full of hand -me down clothes outgrown by one of my children. 
A meal for a family who has had sickness in their home. 
 The possibilities are endless; but I am convinced that because we have the Holy Spirit living inside of us (God Himself) this is how He now chooses most to work to meet the needs of others.  He does not need a fiery cloud and pillar.  He does not need to speak from the sky to tell someone that everything is going to be OK.  He has us; and when we are surrendered to His promptings we see the needs. To me, that is an even greater miracle than parting of the red sea of the lighting of Elijah’s fire.  God uses Christians to show Himself and His power to others. 
Sometimes we see how He is meeting our needs through someone else.  We stand in awe that God worked through someone who did not know our specific need but was willing to listen and to obey His voice.  We are humbled.  Sometimes we are blessed by someone who is so in love with their Savior that their time is not spent only on themselves but on doing the bidding that He has given them to do.

Such is the case with Miss V.
She saw a need.  A little boy with a brain that does not work as fast and as efficiently as others his age.  She saw a ten year old who struggled to read and to write in her Sunday school class; and rather than casting judgment and criticism she looked to what God would have her do about this need.
She did not see that she has already taught for 45 plus years and is ready to retire and have her own life.  She did not regard the fact that her feet do not move quite as fast as they did when she started teaching years ago.  She did not think of the pain in her back that causes her to see a chiropractor each and every week.  She just saw a need and knew that she could meet it.  God laid it on her heart and she knew that He would enable her with the strength to meet the need of this little boy.
So, on the designated days she takes her car out of her garage and drives to an elementary school 20 minutes from her house and picks up Zak at his classroom door.  They then drive another 10 miles to our house, come in and get a drink and then head to Dad’s desk to spend the next hour and a half learning to read. 
Can I even begin to tell you what this means to me?  I thank God for her.  I thank God  for her love for my son.  Then, I thank God for His love for my son.  You see, He saw a little boy with a brain that does not work as fast and as efficiently as others his age.  God saw a ten year old who struggled to read and write in his Sunday school class then He found a willing child of His that was equipped with the skills to help this little boy, whom He loved so much.  He showed her the need and He knew her heart.  He knew her surrender to Him.  He knew that even though her legs are not as steady as they once were  -she will obey.  He knew that even though the drive is not in her neighborhood she would just take it a little slower and pray to Him that He would help her to meet the need; and He knew He would empower her eyes to see the road and her brain to remember the directions to the school.    He knew her heart; and He knew that when He showed her what He saw that she would allow Him to strengthen her to meet the need.
I believe that God has the power to speak to me from the clouds, drop down bread from the heavens and fill my evening table with food enough for my family and anyone else who wanted to join us for dinner.  However, I know that God has an even more sure way of showing Himself mighty and loving.  It’s by using His children to meet other’s needs.  I for one, have been challenged by a woman of God who knows how to hear His voice, is not self consumed and loves her Savior more than her own life. 
God make me a woman who sees the need and allows you to work through me to meet the need that you have, in your love, shown to me.  Oh to God, that I would be a woman who allows the world to see Jesus working His love through me.  Oh, that I would lose sight of myself and give myself wholly to being what God would have me to be.  I pray that when I am old and my legs don’t work as well I will hobble out to my car, drive a little slower and pray that God will enable me to meet the needs of others through the power of God working in me!

Menu Monday

So, if I'm back here, there is no time like the present to be able to post our weekly menu.  Here goes: 

Monday:  Baked Chicken/ Baked Potatoes / Salad / Homemade Bread

Tuesday:  Fusilli w/ Sausage and Peppers / Salad

Wednesday:  Hearty 13 Bean Soup / Homemade Bread

Thursday:Spaghetti / Tossed Salad

Friday:  Chili / Cornbread 

Saturday:  Potato Soup / Homemade Bread

Sunday : Meat and Cheese Sandwiches / Veggie Tray / Corn Chips


We finally have Internet at the house.  This means that I will be able to blog more!  YES!! ( as Anna would say.)  So here is to more blog posts and hopefully y'all will comment and let me know you're still with me here.  It has been awhile.  I am so excited! 

Fall Life 2012

Life has settled into a 'normal' here.  The school year is underway and the fall routines are being played out everyday.  The weather here has turned chillier and the leaves are changing colors offering to me a show of natural beauty that is breathtaking.

Zak's first day of school - 4rth grade
 Zak has grown accustomed to his daily routines and prompts and reminders of what to do next have been put away as he knows the 'next thing'.  He leaves for school with Dad and Rachel every morning.  They drop him off at school and then they head to work.  He rides home on the bus, bids his bus driver goodbye and starts the walk up the driveway.  I wait for him on the porch.  The weather growing colder will fin me soon with a jacket on as I sit on my perch and wait for the bus coming down the road.  Truth is, I have heard the sound of the bus coming down the country roads long before I actually see it.

The school days here on the home front follow a pattern.  There is required reading and speech in the morning; along with math and music.  I sit at the head of the dinning room table and flash flashcards and utter phonetic sounds as my youngest learns the basic skills needed to start reading.  Today there was a cup of hot tea by my side as we began our school day. (Coffee has been taken out of my list of warm comfort beverages.  Seems there are sometimes dietary changes needed after a gallbladder surgery.) sniff sniff.

Anna's first day - Kindergarten

The garden is done.  Some fall greens have been planted and are thriving.  The freezer is filled with the beans that came from the garden this summer.  Tomato plans still stand; but their productivity has been limited in the past couple weeks.  Green tomatoes are still abundant and salsa is on the docket to be made sometime this week.

The herbs has been cut and tied and are drying.  The mudroom windows now has an 'all natural - organic' valance.  The aroma from the drying herbs causes the house to smell homey and inviting.  The pumpkin outside is about ready to be brought in and cooked.  Soon the herbs will combine with the smell of pumpkin as bard and bread are taken from the oven to the table for family dinner. 

Walnuts are heard falling from the trees night and days.  It is my guess that if a walnut fell just as one of us walked by it would cause quite the headache.  Perhaps worse?   The make quite a crashing to the ground.  I have plans for those walnuts.  I will collect them, dry them, crack them and have them for winter baking.  However, the locals just look at me with eyebrows raised and then say, "more power to ya..." So, we will see how my plan plays out.  The locals all have been here for awhile ( a LONG while) and it is best to heed what they say. They mention staining of clothes and hands, needing a cement block and hammer to crack the "unusually" hard shell and have mentioned running over them with the car several times to get the outer shell off the actual nut.  Despite their stories I still want to give it a try. 

We had a baby calf born this afternoon across the road.  It was fun watching the wobbly legs try to maneuver the little body to find the mother's milk.  Somehow, anything new in nature seems precious.  God's creation amazes me!

I love the county.  I love the deep dark of the nights and the twinkling bright starts overhead.  I love the beautiful sunrises and the breathtaking sunsets.  I love listening and watching as birds call to one another in the daytime and the howl of the coyotes at night. 

I am so thankful for the place God has brought us to  Everyday I am living the dream.  Watching nature unfold in front of me and taking in everything I can from this experience.

Yes, life is settling into normal and I am loving the country life!