We are finally getting some answers to Zak's medical problems. This week was another busy week with 3 different doctors appointments. Needless to say, we are glad that this week is behind us!
We were in to the neurologist on Thursday. He believes that Zak is suffering from seizures. He thinks that he could be having 40-50 seizures a day. This is what he believed happened when he could not talk to us and communicate. We are starting some anti seizure medication and working at increasing some of his other meds to help with other brain issues he is having. It is a step of faith - but we are going to see how he does. God is good - He is the great physician - and He knows exactly what is wrong.
(One of Zak's many EEG's - this one he came home with for 48 hours)
In the last month Zak has had a lot of problems. We have seen him regress in his development. This has been the hardest for me as a Mom to see. I feel that we had come so far - and now we are back here again. I also am realizing that there is nothing I can do about it - but love Zak where he is right now. It has made me realize that value of each day. So - today I will live in today - not yesterday and not tomorrow - but today.
I was encouraged this morning when I read these familiar verses during my quiet time:
Psalm 139:15 - " My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thought unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them,they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
Here are some thoughts I gained while meditating on these verses:
- God knew about all the problems that Zak would have even before he was born.
- God has a perfect plan for Zak.
- God's plan for Zak has impacted my life.
I am blessed to have him as my son. How much I have learned about life, love and God through Zak. God answered my prayers the day that Zak came into our home - my life would not be complete without him. What a blessing he is to our family. How differently we see and understand life. Adoption - was God's gift to us as a family. I can rest in the fact that no matter what caused Zak's problems God was there - and God's plan for him can not be stopped! This brings peace - joy - hope.
So I will look to my Creator - my Saviour - my Father - for the answers and trust. I know that in His time and in His way He will "perform that which concerneth me" - and this is true for Zak for me, and for our entire family!
Today, I will love as if I would never have the opportunity to love again. I will take in the moments and the events and cherish them as a gift from Heaven. Today - I will rest in God's sovereignty - - and find peace.