"I Believe ... Help Thou My Unbelief"

I have been thinking a lot about my faith. My faith in God - - my God.


I believe He is the source of all meaning in life - all joy and peace come from Him and from knowing Him. I believe that everything I need in life He will provide for. I believe He cares for me and thinks of me often. I believe that in the center of His will there is peace, complete fulfillment - and total safety. I believe He loves me more than anyone else could ever love me.

I do believe - - and yet - - I fear.

I fear the unknown future - hardships that may come my way. I fear parting with friends and possessions that I have come to love and cherish. I fear that I will not enjoy where He leads me. I fear for I am flesh.

I fear - - and my soul is frustrated because deep down in spite of the fear - - I believe.

I want to be assured that I am ready to stand for my faith - for my God - in the face of any adversity. I want to think that I am willing to give up all for Christ alone. But yet, when confronted with changes that demand meager sacrifice and change - I find my flesh in fear.

It is because of this fear that I hesitate to believe my faith would be able to withstand intense persecution. With this fear deep within me - I doubt whether I would be able to ever counted among the martyrs who died for their faith - often enduring intense persecutions causing death to be a welcoming end to their journey here on earth. Oh, how I long to be counted amongst them. To know deep within me that if ever I was asked to renounce my faith - I would stand true to what I truly believe. But assurance is far from me - for how could I stand for my faith when staring death in the eye - if I am not willing to sacrifice the convenient things of life for His will for my life.

Fear is an immobilizer of belief. Fear is powerful - strong - and blinding. Fear causes one to forget - fear brings amnesia to one's belief system.

Then I was reminded - Love conquers over fear. Love motivates over fear. Love is stronger than fear. It is not my love for Him that will motivate my faith - but rather His love for me that will conquer fear.


I must be consumed with Him. He must be the center of my thoughts. I must "learn of Him" - for as I know Him better I will grow secure in His love for me. As I set before me His sacrifice for me - He gave everything - I am secure - secure that His leading will always be what is best for me. You see, His love for me - total sacrifice for my redemption - will grow my faith - will strengthen my faith - and will remove the doubts that fear brings my way.

Christ's love for me - the conquering power over fear.

I think often of what it will be like those first moment in Heaven. When my eyes see the One who died for me. I desperately want to hear the words, "Well done thou good and faithful servant... " Christ must be my passion. I must be consumed with Him.

"Oh to be saved from myself; dear Lord! Oh, to be lost in Thee..."

"Mold me and make me after Thy will - while I am waiting yielded and still."

May His love for us conquer fear - and may we accomplish great things for Christ.

Blessings my Friends,

~Martie