Allowing Him to Walk - His Way

We sit in church and he sings - not like everyone around him - he sings his way - with his whole body taking in the music. It looks different - people notice and I want to make him stop - to be like all those around him. But he is not like everyone around him - he looks different then them, he talks different then them and he processes different then them. I wonder if people think it wrong to let him sing - his way.

He says "hi" to absolutely everyone he meets. It wearies me at times. Then I look, they are smiling. He notices those who are unnoticed. He talks to them. He asks them questions - he is interested. He loves - it's his way.

So many times I want to make him like everyone else. Yet, to put him into a mold that God has not designed for him - is that not wrong on my part? God has a purpose for him - I remind myself of that on the bad days. There is a reason for his life. I must allow him to walk the path God has for him.

It is not a path of self indulgent behaviour or self focus - for that is never the path God desires for us - whether we are challenged or "normal". It is a path however, that allows him to touch a world that he does not understand; and in turn, to allow that world to be touched by him. The two often meet - the two need to meet.

It becomes my responsibility to prepare him for his path. To teach him to love, to care, to think of others; so, when the paths intersects - he will engage. I must address his unique behaviour - pull him outside of himself and cause him to see others; all the while embracing and accepting him - unconditionally. A concept we humans as a whole need to embrace more.

So I teach, I train - I do my best to prepare him for his purpose. I pray for wisdom - so much I do not understand. Then, I watch as he interacts with a world he so vaguely understands. It is never 'normal' - but it is always engaging.

Are there those who do not understand? often.

Are there those who judge? - yes.

But I choose to focus on the face of a person with whom he comes in contact. I focus on the smile on their lips. I choose to focus on the fact that he loves Pastors and Missionaries and talks about them in his sleep. They are his heroes.

He probably will never stand behind a pulpit and preach a three point outline; but he has a message. As I journey with him I realize how much about life I am learning through him. He lives each day to it's fullest. He loves to the deepest. Often, I am left to wonder - which of the two of us has a firmer grasp on reality. So I am off today to help him learn to walk in his path - and in the process - I am learning more about the important things of life.


Katina said...

What a great post. Your little man is so handsome and special.

It is best to focus on the smiles of others, but hard to not notice the other yucky stuff. Well said.

Deborah said...

Oh that brought tears to my eyes! I'm so glad you can focus on the positie...I know it can be difficult.


Just beautiful Martie. That little boy is one blest little boy and I am sure that he knows it.connie

Michelle said...

That was brilliant. I work with children with special health care needs. I get to work with children with autism, cerebral palsy, behavioral issues, and everything in between. This post was one of the most insightful and touching things I have read, and I think it would be very healing to many parents.

Mimi said...

What a blessing he is to so many people when he makes them smile...
although difficult for you, your strength will help him achieve what God has in store for him...
blessings and prayers,

Walking by Faith said...

This was beautiful...he is so precious!!!

~~Deby said...

What a journey this has been for you....and the insight that the Lord has given you. It is a blessing to see you grow through this, knowing it has it's rough times too....but loving that little guy of yours unconditonally and knowing him, really knowing him...and accepting him and directing him...may God Bless you and your husband as you raise your young man for the Lord, in his way..maybe we should be a bit more like him...did you ever think that?

Becky K. said...

So Beautiful!

I would be honored to meet this special young I am sure those who do meet him truly are!

It is so easy to get caught up in the daily struggles. I am so glad that you have been given the ability to see the bigger picture!


Grove Family Homeschool said...

Hey Martie - we need to get Zak and Kaylee together sometime.

Yes, it can be hard to have a child with special needs. Sometimes it even makes me cry. But the blessings far outweigh the burdens overall.

You put my heart into words with this post! ~ Beth ~

Sharon said...

God knew he was right for you and you were right for him. May you both be blessed and I can see that he is going to bless many other people during his lifetime. You can see the love in his eyes.

A Note From Theresa said...

Crying,, again. Your heart for that little boy of yours really shows. What a blessing you are to him. You are the Mommy he needs.