Remember

No matter how much time passes- one can never forget a weekend that changed life forever.

This weekend I remember that weekend- 12 years ago. She left us much sooner than we had planned - - 12 days before Christmas.

Christmas carols have never sounded the same since that Saturday morning. I still find them to bring joy to my heart. Yet, way back in my mind many carols bring back memories from that weekend.

One never forgets.

Sometimes - I wish I could forget. I wish I could forget every year when the Christmas cantata or Christmas program falls on the same weekend it fell on that weekend. Twelve years ago - the program was rescheduled; but every year since then the program has gone on as scheduled. Yes, every year since then - every Christmas program practice the night before the weekend - I wish, oh how I wish I could forget.

Sometimes - when I hear of a child who dies around the holidays I wish I could forget. Forget how much it hurt, how much it changed the flavor of the season within my heart- forever.

When I talk with a grieving parent, or when I pray in earnest for a family whose eight year old son's battle with cancer finally ended -- weeks before Christmas ... I wish I could forget.

Then,there are times that I hope I never forget.

Never forget how real God became to me in an instant. How near He was! How much His grace was present! When I think about how much the Comforter worked within my heart and gave me peace in the midst of the troubled time of the hour - I pray to God I will NEVER forget.

This trial showed me Him -more clearly than any other time in my life. When we draw nigh to God - God always draws near to us. How closely I drew that weekend; and how I knew His arms were holding me, his cheeks wet with tears - just like mine!

I never want to forget how real the presence of God was to me that weekend. Never!

When I look at other people's suffering and can not understand why - I hope I never forget. Never forget how much it hurt when people tried to reason and make sense of something to which God only knew the answer.

When I hear people try to reason through other people's suffering - I am reminded of that weekend and I vow never to forget.

To always remember -comfort does not come when we find the reason to the suffering - comfort comes when we point the suffering ones to the Comforter.

When I sit side by side with someone else who has lost a child - when my tears mix with theirs - every single time - it has never failed - I have begged God to never let me forget. Never forget the hurt - never forget the fear - the questions.

Never forget!

I always always thank God for the opportunity to walk the path with someone else. For in talking and walking and crying and praying with another person who is there - I remember - that is what it is all about! Allowing myself to be an instrument of His comfort- the comfort I became acquainted with twelve years ago - - this weekend.

So this weekend, I will participate in the Christmas program. I will cry as I sing the songs of Christmas. This weekend I will remember- and be thankful.

Emanuel came to bring us Hope and Peace - for every situation we have in life; and as we minister to those around us - those walking the same path - we find purpose.