The week had been long.
There had been the full schedule of a normal week. Getting kids to designated places, packing
lunches, making phone calls, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and
wondering when that stack of ironing was ever going to get done. When life gets busy – it is easy to lose sight
of the eternal; and not only had I lost sight of the eternal that week – I had
failed.
Failed to live above all of the temporary things.
Failed to see the eternal.
Failed to live out my faith.
I walked into church feeling somewhat defeated. Sure, I had confessed my sin; but I still felt
- well, like a failure. I had my mental
list of all the past weeks shortcomings.
While I had acknowledged my sin to God – I felt badly that I couldn’t
promise Him that it wouldn’t happen again.
I wanted to; but I know me.
I went to church focused on someone other than Him – and I was defeated.
Then our voices were lifted in praise to God as we sang the
anthem of the redeemed – Amazing Grace. The chains of sin are gone. I sat in silence and listened as the entire
congregation lifted their voices in praise to God for all He had done. I imagined that in a small way I was getting
a glimpse of what it will sound like
when all the redeemed of every nation, tribe, and tongue sing with one voice of
the Amazing Grace they have tasted.
I whispered a prayer to God, “I wish I didn’t’ fail you so
much. You deserve so much more.”
This Sunday we were partaking of the Lord’s Supper. I thought about my previous week – and
wondered if I should partake. The Pastor
stood and read a verse of scripture before handing out the plates filled with
the bread:
“For I have received
of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, that the Lord Jesus, the same
night in which he was betrayed, took bread…”
My mind fixated on that phrase –“ THE SAME NIGHT”…
The plan had been made – the betrayal perhaps had already
happened in his heart – the same night
– right before it all happened – Jesus looked into Judas’ eyes and invited Him
to break bread with Him. Jesus called
him to Himself the same night that
Judas would betray him.
He called Peter to Himself the same night Peter would deny him. He broke bread with those closest to Him on
this earth the same night that they
would forsake Him; and He knew that in a few hours He would struggle alone –
forsaken by all. Despite all of this, He
desired their fellowship, He wanted to be close to them – to remind them He
loved them. He wanted them to remember
Him and His love for them – because that
same night they would walk away from Him.
This Sunday, He called to me just like He did with the
twelve. He asked me to fellowship with Him – to remember
Him. He called me to Himself.
The very purpose of the Lord’s Table is to remember Him.
My thoughts changed from looking at the past week, the
failures, the shortcomings – and I fixed my eyes on Him. I was overcome with the price He paid for me
and I whispered the only prayer I could, “Thank you for loving me.”
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| Photo Credit: Rachel Spurgeon |
Jesus Paid it all.
All to Him I owe.
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
