Rachel's headache got worse last night. Finally around seven it was decided that we needed to take her in and try to get her more comfortable. The ride there was very difficult for her. The movement of the van made it very uncomfortable for her. It is a 30 minute ride to the nearest hospital.
They got her right in and the same doctor that had transferred her to Children's Hospital a couple of weeks ago was working. It was nice to have a doctor that was somewhat familiar with her case there. He said we needed to start IVs and get some medication in her to try to help her headache.
She was so dehydrated from hours of throwing up that day and not being able to take in fluids, that her veins were very difficult to get into. It took the nurses four different attempts before they were able to get an IV going. It is becoming harder and harder to find a vein on her arm or hand that has not been blown from previous attempts at an IV.
Once we got the IV in they were able to get some medication in her to help the headache. Shortly after the medication was in the IV they were using started to back up. They decided to stop the IV and try to hydrate through her drinking water now that her nausea was somewhat controlled.
As I sat in the ER room with the lights turned down and just a little light streaming in from the hallway I took out my Bible and started to read and pray. I prayed that God would continue to work in our lives. Continue to complete, to mold , to bring us into the image of Christ. I confessed sin that came to my heart. I begged God for healing for Rachel. I told Him how tired I was of seeing her sick. I asked again for Him to raise her up, then I asked Him to help be surrendered to His working in our lives at this time.
Then I read. I felt God leading me to read Phil 2.
"For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure. Do all things without murmurings and disputings..."
I prayed for God to give me the grace to do that. To lay surrendered completely to His working in our lives - without murmuring; but rather in quiet confidence that God is at work here. I can trust Him. I then felt the Holy Spirit leading me to read Romans 8.
"There is therefore how no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit...
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities,m nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be ale to separated us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
As I drove home well after midnight this morning, Rachel sleeping in the seat beside me, I was in awe at the beautiful scene before me. The stars were so bright in the country sky. So many many stars. It was breathtaking. It is neat to know that the Creator of the stars, the God who keeps the earth and galaxies running smoothly cares for me. He sits beside me at each hospital visit and He understands my desire to see Rachel completely better. He knows what He is doing in our lives right now. It is not mine to understand why or what He is doing; it is for me to rest and trust completely that His way is best for me.