In Memory

One of the happiest days of my life: July 1, 1997

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By far - one of the saddest days of my life: Dec 13, 1997

I have thought a lot about this event in the past six months. Rachel being sick has caused my mind to reflect on Ally's home going a bit more than I normally do on an everyday basis.

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I remember:
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the joy of her birth...
the anxiety of being a mom to three so young...
the news that I was expecting again...
her smile...
her giggle...
a special Thanksgiving holiday - all together as a family for the very first holiday season of her life - and the very last...
the fear of finding her...
the finality of the words, "we did everything we could..."
the peace that surpassed understanding...
the reality of God's presence during intense pain...
the sleepless nights before her funeral...
the shopping trip trying to find a bonnet for her to be buried in...
the cold weather that stung to the bone during the graveside service...
the numbness in my heart...
the joy that God gave us another child six months later...
the ministry opportunities that have come our way...
the tears that still come this time each year.

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I am amazed that:
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no matter how much time passes I still remember - and it still hurts...
despite how little time we had with her - she still is part of our lives...
the lessons learned about the brevity of life still remain within me...
one day can change everything...
God's grace is still sufficient...
God still understands.
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Taking time to remember her:

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Allyssa Hope Spurgeon
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Born: July 1, 1997
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Safe in the arms of God: Dec 13, 1997