Is changing course ever easy? We are finding it difficult - but not impossible. Shoring up areas where we see there to be deficiency. Habits that have come in almost unnoticed; but now a part of everyday family life. Harsh, bitty words. Frustration. Delayed obedience. Bad attitudes. Lack of attention to detail. We notice it with the kids; and it hurts us when we do. Not so much because the habit is not becoming of them; but we know where they got it from. US!
The realization stings like a knife and we are left to realize that they pick up on our bad habits. We also realize that a lack of vigilance in this area for any length of time allows them to cement that habit down even further.
It is encouraging to know that you can not fix a problem that you do not know exists. We are thankful for the realization even though the truth at times can hurt. It has been made clear to us that it is time to change course. To stop the forward motion and say we have to go another way.
Family meetings have been held. Agendas have been set; and we are looking into the future with hope. Hope that God can change hearts, alter courses and give wisdom. We start with ourselves first. That is the hard part.
I open my Bible this morning and am encouraged: "Walk in the Spirit and ye shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh." I pray for wisdom. My prayers are heart felt - "God change me into what You want me to be. Make me the wife and mother that my family needs. Alter my course."
So thankful that I don't have to parent in my own strength. Rejoicing that I don't have to try to be the help meet for Rob. Ever so thankful; because neither one of these things is possible without His strength.
I close my Bible, turn off the lamp and head upstairs - ready in His strength.
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