Looking Back

Spring is here. The sun is shining and we are enjoying every. single. minute. of it!

Life has been busy here. Good busy. School work is getting finished up for the year. The close of year activities are surrounding us. There are more this year. Rachel is done with high school. Pictures to be taken. Announcements to be sent. Decisions to be made - open house or a family outing?

And I am here. Busy- but sad. (Or, is sad too drastic of a word for my emotions?)

It all went by so quickly.

My school days with her are over. All of them.

The chapter has closed; and the sound of it is deafening to my ears.

I wish I would have known it was going to happen so fast. Would I have changed anything?

If I had known it was going to end so soon would I have begrudged the grading, the time, the effort?

I just didn't know. My Dad told me how fast life goes by.

Is this how you felt, Dad, when you took me to college? Amazed at how quickly the years had flown. Did you sit and go over and over how it just seemed like yesterday that you brought me home from the hospital? Did you go over and over in your mind at how it was not that long ago I was toddling to you with arms outstretched.

I have thought of all of these things. How I thought it would take forever till she was done with school. Sometimes the forever seemed so far away. A distant reality that in my heart I guess I thought would never come to be. But, alas, here we are.

Did I do enough?

Did I teach enough?

Is she ready?

And I am left with feeling that I wish I could go back.

Not to change things that I should have done better - although, I would.

Not to add to things I should have taught - although, I would.

I wish I could go back because I LOVED being her Mommy. I loved watching her grow. I loved snuggling up every night on the couch and reading before bed. I LOVED watching her play on her swing set and waiting with her for Daddy to come home and push her. I LOVED watching her learn. To read. To write. To understand. I LOVED being with her. Every day.

And, I know - I will always be her Mom. I will still enjoy her as she grows. I know she will continue to learn. I will love watching her life grow into what God has for her. But I know, that there is a chapter that is closed. We have written this chapter.

With every birth comes a death. The birth of her adult life beginning comes a close to the childhood life she has completed. The Mom in me, while excited about the future is also sad that the chapter has closed - it just seems too soon.

Spring Pictures

So thankful for the gift of children. Thankful that Rachel's health is doing so much better. Thankful that we are a family. God is so good! Happy Spring everyone!




From Elisabeth Elliot's book The Path of Loneliness:

"It is possible both to accept and to endure loneliness without bitterness when there is a vision of glory beyond.

"In circumstances for which there is not final answers in the world, we have two choices: accept them as God's wise and loving choice for our blessings (this is called faith), or resent then as proof of His indifference, His carelessness, even His nonexistence (this is unbelief)"

So challenging I highlighted it in the book; and will read it over and over again. Faith in action accepts God's best for me - no matter what!

Trust you have a wonderful day knowing that God has ordered your day just the way it is going to happen. Can we have a 'bad' day then? Something to think about...

Thanks for stopping by,


The Proof of Love

I have been reading and enjoying one of Elisabeth Elliot's books. The Path of Loneliness. What wisdom envelopes this book! For the next few posts I will be quoting from her book. Trust it is a blessing to you. It sure was to me!!

Elliot was talking about how she desired to know Christ deeply. Having ready Pilgrim's Progress and other missionary stores she was sure of the fact that the quest of truly knowing God was going to cost her something. Then she said,

"I began slowly to learn that Christ can be known only in the path of obedience.

"Obedience proves love..."

Seeking to be obedient - today - to Him.