From SAHM to FTWM - Lessons Learned

It has been a year since I started working full time out of the home.  Getting a job outside of the home was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make.  Being a stay at home mom was all I had ever known; and to be honest with you – it was all that I thought I would ever know.  I had never really envisioned myself working outside the home.   When God opened up a spot for Zak in a special needs Christian school Rob and I began talking about me getting a job outside the home.  The thought of me being gone from the house all day terrified me; I couldn’t see how everything would get done if I was gone eight hours each day. 

This year has been filled with lots of learning curves; but it has been an exciting year as I have done something I have never done before.    Here are some things that I have learned this first year of being a working mom:

 

*I LOVE my job.  

I had no idea how much I would enjoy going to work and interacting and engaging with other people.  I love going to work and seeing my coworkers.  I love being part of the team where I work.  I love the challenges that I have at work that are different than I had at home; and I love getting a paycheck for the work I am doing.  I never imagined that I would love working outside the home as much as I do.

*Being a SAHM prepared me for being a FTWM

More than once in this past year I have found myself amazed at how things I did as a stay at home prepared me for working outside the home.  Time management, laundry organization, planning school work – all of that equipped me with the knowledge I needed to do a lot of the tasks I have been given this past year.    

*Teamwork Matters     

Whether I like to admit it or not, more than once I have played the martyr when it came to my roll as a SAHM.   Sometimes it was the laundry, meal planning or just housework – but there were a lot of times I just felt like I could not get it all done.  However, I was reluctant to accept help or accepted it with guilt because the affairs of the house were my “job” and when I wasn’t able to get them all done I felt like I was failing.   This year I have learned (at it took a while for me to get this one) that my husband and I are a team.   He helps me when I have a lot on my plate – just like I try to help him when he has a lot on his.  It just makes for a happier home when everyone is working as a team; but that leads to another lesson I have had to learn:

*It doesn’t have to be done my way

Ouch!  This one has hurt.   Sometimes the reason I didn’t want the help was because I wanted things done exactly how I wanted it.   While order and details are important sometimes it is just better to allow others to do it their way for the sake of getting it done.  By far this was the hardest lesson for me – but the one that has brought the most peace to our everyday life. 

*I love Family Time

When I was a SAHM and homeschooling I was with my kids all the time.  Don’t get me wrong – I am thankful that I was able to be home and spend so much time with my kids while they were growing.   I consider it a huge blessing.   This year my time has been divided with home and work; and I have found that when I am home with my family I really focus on them and enjoy being home.  I value it more than I did as a SAHM.  I also have found myself doing away with distractions when I am at home in the evenings and on weekends.  I want to be 100% there with them when I am there with them. 

*If Your Mindset is Wrong – Change

Another ouch.   In the stay at home mom world and the homeschooling world there can be on overarching mindset that working outside the home is WRONG.  The hardest part about me working outside the home was having to evaluate if I believed that it was wrong for me to be employed outside of the home.    As I prayed about it and evaluated it I had accept that some philosophies that I had accepted through the years were not completely biblical.  The Bible clearly teaches that the first roll of the wife is to care and oversee for the needs of her household.  That has been and always will be my first and highest calling.  It is not my only calling.   Once I evaluated this and humbled myself to what the scripture teaches (and not what other people’s opinions were) there was such freedom to fully embrace this next chapter of our lives. 

What a year it has been!  Overall I have learned that a Mom does what needs to be done to meet the needs for her family and her children.  Zak has thrived in his new school; and Anna has blossomed at hers.  I have enjoyed watching God unfold His plan for us in this new adventure.   It’s neat to know that my time as a SAHM was part of God’s plan for my life and for my children and that this new chapter of our lives is a part of God’s plan for us and for our children’s future.  How blessed I have been to have been able to experience both! 

I trust that you are content and thriving at the place God has you in your time of life right now; and know that God is always growing us and preparing us for what is coming up ahead.   No stage of life last forever.  Take in all God has for you now – and be ever learning for what He has for you in the future. 

Thanks for stopping by.  I’m so glad you did!

Blessings,
~Martie

Doing Life - Together

This past month we celebrated another anniversary.   A lot of years have gone by since he popped the question and I said "yes".  So much of life has happened since then that looking back it feels like we were just two young kids, madly in love with no clue at all about married life.    That evening at the altar with the sun shining through the church window, we each committed our lives to each other.  We said our vows and lit our candle.   He kissed his bride, we ate our cake, and then ran through a shower of birdseed.   We arrived at the church in separate cars, we left together just the two of us.    

Our love story beginning…

Together we have enjoyed a honeymoon, set up our first apartment and learned how each of us enjoyed spending our personal time.  We have endured the flu, food poisoning, mono, bug bites and allergic reactions, morning sickness, cancer and celiac disease.    We have enjoyed vacations, weekend family getaways, and romantic bed and breakfast spots.   We studied Autism and ABA therapies, and picked out homeschool curriculum.    We have laughed together and cried together.    We have figured out how to make groceries last longer to get us to another paycheck and enjoyed steak dinners and romantic anniversary celebrations. We have had vehicles break down on the side of the road, cleaned up vomit from the back seat of the van, and experienced riding in a tow truck down a mountain together.     We have experienced the heartache of having friends turn against us and talked together about the anxiety of making new friends after relocating. Together we have remodeled a house, prepared for a home study and cried together as we welcomed a new child into our family (four times in a hospital room, two times in a court room). We have experienced the heart wrenching pain of burying a child and felt the isolation from each other as we grieved.      We have planted a garden together and shoveled snow together.  We have argued about cat dishes, car payments, hair styles, extended family and furniture placement.  We have shared what God is teaching us in our quiet times and read aloud our personal journals to each other.  For the past twenty seven years we have kissed each other goodnight, gotten up in the morning,  made the bed together and went about our day as a couple.  It has been wonderful and it has been difficult.  It has been us doing life – together.   

I have spent a lot of time this month thinking about the blessings and the challenges that we have had through the years.   They have grown us together.   The good times as well as the bad has shown us just how much we need God.     One of the most beautiful things about being married for a significant length of time, is being able to watch the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in your spouse’s life.   To be able to watch as God uses the difficulties and the blessings in life to conform us to the image of His Son.  When I look back over the past twenty-seven years I see God’s hand in all of it.  He has taken two young kids and has walked with us as we did life together.  He has taught us, encouraged us, grown us, and blessed us.   He has drawn us to Himself and to each other. 

I am so thankful that God has given me someone to do life with.  I am truly blessed.  My prayer is that I will be able to look back twenty seven years from now and see how God has continued to work in our lives, matured us and made us more like Him.