God Is For Me

“When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me.” Psalms 56:9

“What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”  Romans 8:31

It must be the default method of human nature to question the love and goodness of God when going through difficult times.  I have heard it so many times – the question:  “If God is a God of love then why did….”   The blank is filled in with some tragedy, some heartbreak or some disaster story from last night’s evening news.  Yes, I have heard ‘the question’ many times; but in full disclosure here, I have asked the question myself – more than once.    

As I look back on my life I am disappointed to say that there have been many times I have questioned God’s love for me.  The Bible says that every single day we are blessed by a loving God.  The Bible says that His mercies are new “every morning’ (Lamentations 3:23).  Every breath I take is a gift from God.  Why then is it that in times of difficulty it is so easy to start questioning if God loves me?  Have you been there?  Why do we as Christians – saved from the penalty of sin and spared from eternity in Hell question God’s love when things get difficult?   I have found five trigger points that cause there to be a question of God’s love and goodness.

AllPoters.com

1.  We don’t ‘know’ God

This can be true on two different levels.  First of all, for a new believer, a relationship with God is new.  A Christian who has just found forgiveness of her sins and placed her dependence in Christ’s work on the cross is finding out about this God who loves her and growing in her relationship with Him.  Satan loves to put a question mark over the goodness of God.  Many times this can happen shortly after salvation when something happens in their lives and suddenly the God whom they just came to know in salvation weeks earlier appears to be in judgment of them; making the new relationship with God appears unstable and God self serving and far removed. 

This can also happen to those of us who have been saved for some time.  Yes, we are saved; but we don’t really ‘know’ God.  We have not spent time cultivating a relationship with Him; and when trouble comes Satan throws a great big question mark over God’s head and we start doubting God’s love and goodness to us. It’s a tactic of the devil that we have seen since the Garden of Eden. 

2.  We allow our feelings to dictate our view of God

Our feelings can throw us!  Feelings can appear to be reality; and if we allow ourselves to live our lives by our feelings we find our lives to be nothing short of an emotional roller coaster ride.  I wonder how many days I have wasted in my life living by my feelings?  I cringe to think of this; because it is something I have struggled with a lot!   My feelings can tell me that God does not care for me.  Have you been there?  Something ‘bad’ happens in your day and you immediately feel like God is judging you and mad at you?  I can feel like God is mad at me; and if I allow my feelings to become my compass – I am headed to being lost in an emotional wilderness of trouble.

3.  We focus on us and our failures and not Christ

The old adage, “A person wrapped up in themselves makes for a very small package” is very true.  There are times when my thoughts have been revolving around me and all that I have done wrong.  I have gone to bed before feeling like a complete failure.  (The kids got on my nerves, I lost my temper, was mad at the dog and Rob said something that hurt my feelings and I snapped at him…and as I lay there and meditate on everything I have done wrong I feel like a complete failure).  Have you ever gone to bed, looked back at your day and thought, “I hope I don’t wake up in the morning –if I’m just going to mess up tomorrow as much as I messed up today”?  When we are stuck looking at all we have done wrong, all our shortcomings and not focused on Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit we become defeated.  The feeling of defeat is NEVER from God.  The Christian life is a life of hope. 

4.  When we think God is like us

I have five kids.  One of my five has a lot of special needs issues.  The questions he asks on any given day have to range in the hundreds.  That is how he communicates with people – by quizzing them and asking questions.  (Many of which he asked yesterday and the day before that and the day before that….. you get the picture.)  I wake up in the morning to Zak standing over our bed asking another question.  I get so tired of all of the questions.  I turn my back and roll my eyes, I ask him to go to his room and line up his cars – or go outside and rake the driveway again (a blog post for another day) – all just to be free from having to answer his all of his questions for a few minutes.  Sometimes, I just need a break from Zak – I love him with all of my heart; but somedays….

It’s easy for me to have a faulty view of God and to think that God is like me – that He gets tired of me and just wants a break from me.  (I know me – and I could understand if He just needed a time out from all my issues!)  When I start to think that God’s patience level with me is the same as mine in situations that come into my life– I pull away from Him.  How thankful I am that God is SO MUCH MORE patient with me than I have ever been with others.  God never needs a time out from us!

 5. When we forget where we live

It is always after a major news story that you hear the questions, “How can a loving God have allowed that to happen?”     When a natural disaster comes and lives are lost this question is heard over and over.  When a child dies or when an entire family is killed but the drunk driver walks away from the crash  - the question comes.  I have wrestled with this one.   I cannot forget that I live in a sin cursed world – I’m not home yet.  In Heaven there will be justice and things will make sense, all wrongs will be made right; but here on earth – sin still reigns and we live with the effects of sin.  Because this isn’t Heaven we experience the pain of death and separation from those we love. 

Imagine how wonderful it will be when we never have to go to another funeral again? We just attended the funeral of a family member.  As we stood by the graveside, I told the Lord that if I never stood by one more grave, listened to one more eulogy or viewed one more casket about to be lowered into the ground – that would be fine with me.   That day is coming; but we are not there yet.  We still live in a fallen world – we still hurt and cry and wonder why things happen that do not make sense.  We can’t forget where we live – and we must remember where we are going!

If these are the natural responses to the trouble that comes into our lives; if our human nature defaults to questioning a loving God and brings us to defeat – how do we change this pattern?   God does not want us to live in defeat.   When you and I do not know with all assurance that God is FOR us we will be defeated.  There is a simple two-fold solution to getting us from the defeated life of questioning God’s goodness and love for us to being assured that God is for us – and NO ONE can be against us (not even ourselves). 

First of all we must know our God.  Not just know Him as the Savior of our sins – but KNOW Him by His character.  This is something I struggled with so much in college.  I always felt like God was mad at me – like I had failed Him once again. (There are times even now – when I slip back into this mindset – urrr!) One of my professors challenged me to start a “God Is” journal.  In that journal I went through the book of Psalms and wrote down any verse that said something about who God is.  (My professor had gotten the idea from a book called “What do I know about my God?” by Mardi Collier.  I plan on doing a book review on this book here in the near future on the blog.)  After I went through and located all the references to who God is, I was challenged to then journal how I had experienced each of the listed attributes of God in my own life. 

So, when I got to this verse in Psalms 56:9 – “God is FOR me…”  I took time to meditate on how God had been for me in my own life.  I then wrote in my journal different ways that I had seen that God had been for me.  Ladies, this transformed my life!  This completely changed my view of God. 

Secondly, we must accept what the Bible says as truth.  I can write down that God is for me – and I can even record ways that God has been for me in my life; but I must accept by faith that God is for me.  That means if my feelings tell me that God is mad at me I must check to see if my feelings line up with the Bible.  I must bring my thoughts and feelings under the truth of the Bible. 

We must THINK TRUTH. 

I can look at ways I have failed and think that God is tired of me and wants a ‘time out ‘ from me – but this is NOT the God of the Bible – it is a god of my own making.  I have a choice at that moment when the feelings come to choose to worship the God of the Bible – (the God that is FOR me) or to worship the god of my own making.  We must bring our feelings under the control of the Holy Spirit and accept by faith what God’s Word says is true about God.

God is FOR me.  This is a truth that I can rest on and accept by faith no matter what is happening in my life right now!  Here is the awesome part:  “If God is for me… who can be against me?”

Thanks so much for stopping by, I’m so glad you did.  I trust you have a wonderful week.

Blessings,

~Martie 

6 Ways to Strengthen the Friendship with Your Husband

I have set aside Fridays on the blog for posts dealing with family / relationships.  I am excited about several upcoming posts I have been working on.  I hope you will take time each Friday to join me as we focus on how to deepen family relationships. 

For the first Family Friday blog post I want to focus on different ways to deepen your friendship with your husband.  It seems to be that becoming friends is so easy when we are dating; but after marriage comes (and for sure after kids come) life gets crazy.  It is easy to forget that this man that you fell in love with is not just your husband but your friend.  When kids are asking: “What’s for dinner?”; and people in the grocery store are asking: “Are *all* of those kids yours?” it is easy for us to forget that the man whom we promised the rest of our lives needs our attention too.  So what are some ways we can deepen our friendship with our husband? 

1.  TAKE TIME

Having kids means that life is crazy busy (and that is for whatever stage you are in with your kids)!  Sometimes the only way for us to have time with our husbands is to actually make the time.  Ladies, kids grow up  - they won’t always be in our home forever; but our husband will be with us years after the kids are gone (Lord willing).  Our marriages are worth investing in.  Taking time to be able to be together is important in caring for the relationship you have with your husband.  Here are some ways we have found to take the time to invest in one another:

* Weekly (or biweekly) date nights.  

 Having time out of the house just the two of you is important.  For one thing, if your kids are anything like ours – it is hard to get a full conversation in without getting interrupted several times.   We have one night out of the week that we set aside for date nights.  (Future post coming on different date night ideas).  I would encourage every married woman to try to work into her schedule a date night with her husband. 

* Dad and Mom Time. 

Rob and I try (and this is very hard sometimes with 5 kids in the house) to make the first 15 minutes or so “Dad and Mom” time.  It’s good to reconnect when Rob gets home from work and be able to share about our day with each other.  If there are issues with the kids I am able to talk with him about them then.  Sometimes he comes into the kitchen and we chat while I am working on dinner.  Other times we try to go in the front room, sit on the couch and just chat about our day.  The problem we have with making this work is that we do have 5 kids; and two little ones who are *so* excited to see Daddy when he gets home from work.  This makes there to be quite a bit of competition as to who gets to spend time with Dad first.  J 

*Take a walk together and talk.  

 In the summer and when the weather is nice we like to take a few minutes after dinner to go for a walk together.  If the kids have won out and caught Dad when he got home from work – this is when we catch up about our day.  Sometimes we just go out in the yard and walk around.  (This is not our exercise time – it is a leisurely walk)  We walk hand in hand and just talk.  It is one of my favorite times of the day! 

All Posters.Com

2.  Touch

While this may seem so basic; I am amazed at how many married couples I see who never hold each others hands or whom I never see having any physical contact with each other.  I remember when we were dating in Bible College and more than anything we just wanted to hold each others hand and just touch. It was against the rules – and I could not wait till we got married and could hold hands whenever we wanted!   I think it is sad that so many times after a couple gets married they just stop holding hands.  I would encourage you to look for opportunities to touch.  Next time the two of you are walking into church together, hold each others hands.  I love attending church together as a family; and I love when we are standing in church singing – when I feel my husband reach for my hand! I would encourage you to look for ways that you can connect with your husband through touch.  Go ahead – reach out and touch someone - your husband! 

AllPosters.com

3. Pass Notes to Each Other

Rob and I are old school when it comes to technology.  If you don’t believe me ask our kids!  They have horror stories about how old school we really are.  One of the things that my husband cannot comprehend is how our kids can take what would have been a 5 minute conversation on the phone and turn it into a 20 minute texting “session”.  Texting can be a bad thing; but when it can be a tool too!  Rob and I have had so much fun using our phone to text messages back and forth to each other.  I cannot tell you how encouraging it can be to hear my phone ‘ding’ and find a text from Rob telling me how much he appreciates me.  When we were first married, we would leave notes for each other around the house.  (What can I say, we were young and in love!)  Texting can do the same thing – only faster!  There are times when I know my husband is working and will not look at his phone right at that moment; I send him a text to get later on when he takes his break or when he is getting ready to head home.   I would encourage you to use the texting feature on your phone to be an encouragement to your husband.  (You can also flirt with him through texting but make sure that the kids aren’t borrowing Dad’s phone – unless you want to answer some uncomfortable questions or have the phone handed to you with your kid’s laughter in the background!)

4.  Kiss

While this can go hand in hand with touch (no pun intended there), I made it a category all it's own.  Remember how much you loved kissing when you were first married?  I know embarassing question!  However, sometimes life can get so hectic that we forget that kissing can be an awesome way to stop the hectic world for a few seconds and have it be just the two of you.  Rob almost always kisses me goodbye in the morning when he leaves for work and hello in the evening when he gets home from work.  If I go to see him at work - I don't leave without kissing him goodbye. Just the other day I kissed him goodbye at work and an old lady looked at me and winked as I was leaving.  At Zak's last doctor's visit he told his pediatrician, "My Dad kisses my Mom as soon as he gets home from work - and it makes me want to puke!"  The doctor looked at me and smiled.  I think it is interesting that the kids always make a big deal about it when Rob gives me a kiss - but they always keep looking to watch when he does.  Kids need to see their Dad and Mom interacting together. Hollywood is out to portray love in a dirty connotation - what better way for kids to grow up with a correct view of love than to see Dad and Mom holding hands and kissing every day? 

Just Married

5. Share Interests

It is important for couples to have hobbies that they are able to share together as a couple.  For some couples, their shared common interests are what brought them together.  For other couples, some effort has to be made to find something they both enjoy doing together.  When Rob and I got married, I did not realize how much he enjoyed sports.  Through the years I have learned how to watch a football game and found that I can enjoy it!  Rob did not have any sisters in his home – so he has had to work at sharing in some of my interests.  (No matter how hard he tries – he *still* looks painfully bored when shopping with me in Hobby Lobby!)  A lot of our lives have been doing ministry things together.  We have so many memories of youth activities that we planned together in our front room; or even washing dishes together long after a missionary and his family have left our house after a wonderful evening of fellowship.  As a wife, I would challenge you to look for things that interest your husband and try to get involved and be interested in what he enjoys.  One of my friends even took up hunting so she could spend time with your husband! She commented to me that she realized she could complain about him being so wrapped up in hunting that she never saw him – or she could join him.  He was thrilled to have her come along with him and they have hunted together for years.   

6.  Pray for your husband

This is the most important thing you can do to strengthen your relationship with your husband.  A while back I started praying for my husband in regards to something I knew he was struggling with in his walk with God.  During one of our date nights he shared with me some theological questions with which he was wrestling. After that date night, I started praying specifically for that need that he had talked to me about.  A couple of weeks later, Rob and I were laying in bed talking and he started telling me how real and meaningful his devotions had been and how God had been showing him answers to things he and I had talked about a few weeks earlier.  It was so exciting to hear how God was working in His life and how God had led me to pray specifically for that need I saw in my husband’s heart.  I saw a poster sign on Facebook that asked “Are you praying about your husband or for your husband?”  I loved that.  I want my prayers for my husband to not be a list of complaints to God about everything I don’t like about Rob or how I want him to change.  I want to be praying FOR him. 

Since our marriages are a picture of Christ and the church it is so important that we have marriages that are strong and thriving!  Looking for ways to deepen the friendship you share with your husband will help your marriage relationship.  If your marriage is strong in the friendship area – this will help to strengthen it even more.  If your marriage relationship with your husband is weak or struggling right now – this will help in opening doors that can start the strengthening process.  I dare you to attempt every day this next week to do something each day to let your husband know, “You are my best friend – I am so glad I am married to you!”

Thanks so much for stopping by.  I am so glad you did.  I hope you have a wonderful weekend and will be able to join me on Monday for Devotional Monday.  

Blessings,

~Martie

God Sees Christ

I’ve seen #theDress.  I’ve seen it blue and black, only to look back a few hours later and see it gold and white.  I’ve read the articles explaining they why’s and been amazed that two people can see the exact same thing totally different.

 

I should not be amazed by that fact – because I have been married for almost 25 years and I have seen over and over again how two different people can see the exact same thing completely different.  It is one of the mysteries of married life.

There is another mystery of which #theDress reminded me – and it is far more supernatural than a matter of perspective and pixels.  #theDress has reminded me of a Biblical doctrine I hold dear.

Imputed Righteousness is a big doctrinal term that simply means that the moment I accepted Christ as the payment for my sins and placed my dependence upon Him in faith – God no longer sees my sin but sees instead Christ’s perfect righteousness.

God is just and holy and without sin.  God hates sin.  The Bible says He cannot even look at sin – He is THAT holy.  The problem is that there is a holy God; but I am sinful.  A God who loves all mankind – me; but who cannot look at my sin. 

But Christ…

He came, He died and He paid for my sins.  Grace poured out freely for all who will accept His sacrifice a complete pardon is offered.  It works like this, God cannot look upon sin; but He loves me.  So He sent His son to pay the payment for my sin – to take care of the fine that had been incurred because of my sin (separation from the God who loves me but cannot be around or look upon sin).  In His love, He showed me His gift  - Christ Himself. He promised if I would depend upon what Christ did I would find freedom from the sentence of separation from a holy God. 

Yet, how could this work?  How could a God who is just and holy and cannot be around sin – have a relationship with me – even if I accepted the offer?  I’m still sinful.  One sin – has made me a sinner for life. 

Here is where the doctrine of imputed righteousness comes into play.  God has set it up that when I accept by faith what Christ did when He paid the price for all my sin – God applies the righteousness of Jesus Christ to my sin.  In other words, when God looks at me – He no longer sees my sin – He sees the righteousness of Christ.  No longer is there a separation between me and God (my sin).   There is a way now for me to know and experience the fullness of the love of God – thru Jesus Christ.

It’s like #theDress; some see gold and white while others see black and blue.  I can see my sin, friends and family can see my sin; but since the day I accepted Christ’s work on the cross – God looks down and no longer sees sin – He sees Christ.  There are no blemishes, no stains, and no sin.  So when God looks at me He sees Christ’s purity.  The color we would use to describe this would be white.     Jesus Christ died on the cross and paid for my sins; and for yours too. 

I have accepted His payment for my sins and I now am able to have a personal relationship with God.  He sees me as pure – clean from sin because of Christ.   His offer is still valid.  “Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”  If you have not accepted His gift I would beg you to do so today.  There is nothing more beautiful than a relationship with a loving God.   It truly is my most valued treasure. 

So, when God looks at you what does he see – sin or Christ?