Life at our House

 

We are living our first January here in the South.  I must express that it is the most unique January weather I have ever lived in; and I love it!   I missed the snow a little bit right around Christmas; but I soon got over it and have enjoyed being about to go outside to get the mail in a short sleeved shirt and with the sun shinning over head. 

We have started to settle into the routine of a New Year; although I must say it has been a bit of a bumpy start.  Seems we just can not get into a schedule of sorts.  Tonight that is going to change and the kids will be in bed when they are supposed to be in bed.  (Even though, they will not be happy about that arrangment!)

I am busy taking classes to work on my counseling certification. I made a trip here in January to Wisconsin for a weekend class that I needed.  It was the most interesting travel that I have ever experienced!  I was amazed to find that I was only 20 minutes late for the class and used several modes of transportation to get to the class.  (Planes, trains and a Truck!)  I learned a lot in my class and was so thankful for a friend who gave up her weekend to see to it that I made it to class on time.  Thanks, Dona!

I am continuing my classes on Tuesday evenings.  I am learning a lot and reading a lot.  Seems I am back in college with the required reading list that comes with my classes.  There is a difference between this reading and the required reading that I did in college over 20 years ago.  This time I am actually interested in the reading and want to learn!  My goal is to be more equipped with learning how to counsel so I can use it to help in the ministry that God has for us in the future.

Family life is going good.  Zak found his hearing aid that had been lost for several weeks.  (In a puzzle box).  He also showed great dislike for having to wear it again - which made me wonder if he really 'lost' it or if he conveniently put it in a box where I would not find it.  I will never know; but he is back to wearing a hearing aid.  Anna is doing good in preschool activities here at the house.  She keeps me busy and has decided that she absolutely cannot go to sleep without me reading her a bedtime story.  We are currently working through Winnie the Pooh.  (It does require work to answer through all of her questions and get a chapter done each night!) 

Home school is going good.  Abbey has a girl who comes over and tutors her in Biology.  This old Mom just could not get it in my head correctly and could not teach Abbey.  So far, the arrangement is working out nicely and Abbey seems to be learning Biology.  James is busy getting ready for a calf that is coming in February.  He will be doing a 4-H project with the calf and showing it at the State Fair here in September.  I am looking forward to it too.  I am hoping that we can get some chickens; but have been met by much resistance to the idea.  (Seems my husband does not want our homestead to turn into a farm).  I will keep working on him; and for the time being I will purchase my eggs from the lady down the road a piece.

Rachel and Rob work together at ChickFilA.  I am so glad that they are able to be together.  The hour a day drive allows them time to talk and to bond in ways that I know both of them will remember for years to come.   Rachel continues to work with her photography and writing.  I am just thankful that she is still at home and we are still blessed to have her sitting at our table every night.  I know that someday soon that will end and I will cherish the memory that we are building today.

Well, just wanted to give you an update on us here.  Hope that life is going well there for all of you - whereever you are.  Thanks so much for stopping in.  I am so glad you did!

Blessings,
~Martie

Counting Our Blessings

Christmas Eve plans included going over to our Pastor’s house to fellowship and enjoy playing games. Rachel and Abbey had to run an errand and they took the little car and would meet us at our Pastor’s house around six that evening.


We had a wonderful time eating snacks and lots of desserts, playing games, and laughing together. The teens and young people were in the front room enjoying games and the adults were in the kitchen around the table playing trivia games and getting to know each other better. Anna and Zak were in the den playing with the kid toys and enjoying the ‘new’ toys more than you can imagine!

We started wrapping up the evening around a quarter to nine. I was helping Anna put all the toys back and Rob was trying to keep Zak in line as we got ready to go. Rachel came and told me her and Abbey were leaving. I told them that we would be leaving shortly. Our plans were that we would unwrap one gift before bed. (Something Anna kept reminding me of as we finished putting the last toys in the tote and finding her jacket.)

We got the little kids buckled into their seats and James climbed in the back with the leftover desserts in his hand. I looked at the clock as we backed out of the parking spot, the clock read: 9:10. I picked up m cell phone to call Rachel and tell her that the door was locked at the house but that we would be there shortly to let her in. I noticed as I got ready to dial her number that I had missed a call. Just then I heard someone calling for us and running towards the van with a cell phone. It was the Pastor’s daughter.

I watched as Rob was talking on the phone and could hear Rachel on the other end; but could not make out what she was saying. Rob did not look too alarmed and then handed the phone to me after he told her to tell me where she was. He told me to find out where she was. The pastor’s daughter asked him if Rachel was OK. I heard him tell her that he was sure she was and that we needed to find her.

Rachel’s voice was extremely calm as she told me that she had wrecked the car. I assumed that she was in the ditch somewhere and was not too concerned. I told her that she needed to tell me where they were. She said she was not sure. The fog was so thick. I told her that we were pulling out of the driveway and asked her which way we needed to turn. She told me and I told Rob. Then I asked her what was wrong with Abbey. (I could hear her crying in the background.)

Rachel told me that Abbey had hit her head. I told Rachel that I was not going to get off the phone with her and to tell Abbey that we were on our way to them. (Still I was just assuming that they were in a ditch somewhere up the road a ways and wanted them to know that we were coming for them.) I told Rachel to tell Abbey that we were coming. Rachel said she was on the ground. I asked her where she had hit her head. Rachel said, “I don’t know. I think it was when the airbags went off.”

Suddenly, my paradigm changed! I questioned, “The airbags went off?”

“Yes, and I hit a tree. There is a lady with Abbey right now and they called 911.”

I put the phone down over my chin and told Rob that they had hit a tree, the airbags had gone off and 911 had been called. He looked concerned. I then asked Rachel which way I needed to turn at the upcoming intersection. She said she was not sure. She was all turned around in the fog. I asked her to put on the lady that was helping Abbey.

I questioned the lady as to their location. She told me where they were and I instructed Rob that he needed to turn around. Rachel had made a wrong turn and it was down the other road. I heard a lot of voices and a lot of confusion, and then Rachel was back on the line. She seemed disoriented. I assured her that we were almost there.

Then we saw the flashing lights.

They were getting the body board out of the ambulance and I had to will myself to stay in the van until Rob got it over to the side of the road. I ran to Abbey who was behind the car and crying in the grass. The paramedics were working on her. As I ran up to Abbey I saw Rachel run into Rob’s arms.

“I am her mother, and I am not leaving her side, “ I heard myself addressing the paramedic who was holding Abbey’s neck in place and telling her to focus on her breathing. I then sat by Abbey and told her it was going to be OK. I remember asking the man in uniform if she had been thrown from the vehicle and they assured me she had not. I helped them role her onto the board and helped Velcro the neck brace into place and watched as they taped her head into a stationary position.

I knelt in the grass and talked to her. I told her to think of her favorite Bible verse and promised her God was with her. I listened to her cry; and told her God was with her and to breathe deeply. She kept telling me that her head hurt. I called our Pastor’s wife to tell her what was going on; and handed the phone to Rob for him to give Pastor directions as to where we were – I was not sure. I knew that Pastor was on his way.

I was completely at peace. I was not shaking or crying and I felt God was right there with us. Overwhelming peace filled my heart. A total peace I can not explain. God is good.

As I was walking along the stretcher toward the ambulance I saw the State Trooper asking Rachel what happened. She explained that she had gotten turned around and could not tell where she was with fog. She was trying to get back to our Pastor’s house so she could get her bearings and figure out which way it was to home. While she was trying to find the correct street she did not see the curve and went off the road and into the tree. He asked her if they had been wearing their seat belts and Rachel assured him that they both had them on at the time of the accident. The officer told her that it was not her fault. The fog was so thick that night the ambulance had almost missed the curve coming to the scene. He informed her that he was glad she and Abbey were OK and that he would not be issuing a citation because she had not been negligent or reckless in her driving.

Abbey continued to be in a lot of pain as they worked on stabilizing her breathing and blood pressure. It appeared that we were looking at possibly a broken leg or shoulder. I was thankful that we were not looking at a life or death situation and I went out and told Rachel, Rob and Pastor that Abbey was doing OK. They allowed me to ride in the ambulance with them to the hospital. Rob followed behind. Pastor and a couple of his daughters took Zak, Anna and James home. Rachel had been treated and realeased by the paramedics, and was sent home with the others to rest.

X-rays were done and Christmas Day arrived while we were sitting in the ER room waiting for the results. The doctor came in and told us that Abbey was very lucky – no broken bones. He also told her she was going to be very sore for the next week. She was then were released to go home to the other family waiting for us.

Christmas morning started late for us this year. All of us slept in. When it was time to unwrap the gifts under the tree there was a different attitude amongst all of us. A reality that this day almost did not happen was understood by all. James read the Christmas story this year, “Unto us a child is born…”

I sat and listened and prayed and thanked God that we were all together as a family this Christmas day. It was a somber and thankful day. One I can not describe in words.

That afternoon we went to the crash scene and saw where it all had taken place the night before. We talked with the neighbors who had come out and helped our girls from the moment they heard the car hit the tree. We told them ‘thank you.’ We listened as they told us that there have been at least 10 other cars who have missed that curve without the fog that had been there the night before. They were glad we had stopped by and let them know the girls were OK. We handed them a tract with the plan of salvation and invited them to church.

I thanked God as we drove away from the curve that could have cost my girls their lives and thanked God that He had spared them and kept them with us this Christmas. I was thankful that we would not bury another daughter in December and that Anna’s birthday would be celebrated in two days – not just endured under the cloud of grief.

The car is gone; but my girls are still here. That is fine with me.

I have been thrilled to watch my girls become closer through this crisis. There have been lots of tears, lots of prayers and the last few days have been savored. Being together as a family is not something that is guaranteed for tomorrow – or for the next hour even.

Everyday is a gift. Life is a gift from God. So thankful that He has more plans for my girls and that He allowed them to stay with us longer.

Hug your children; and cherish another day with them. Thanks for stopping by – I am so glad you did!

Blessings,

~Martie

Believe...

We have never 'done' Santa Clause with our children.  While I can not and will not judge my friends who 'do' Santa; Rob and I have just never been able to come right out and tell our kids that there is a someone who there isn't. 

However, we have not been anti Santa either.  We will watch a holiday movie that has a Santa theme and we talk to the kids about the story of Santa, always making sure we tell them that it is a story.  (There are many Santa history stories; but overall the ones I have heard make me believe that it is a wonderful story - and has been made into something more than it ever was in real life.)    So, our version of the Santa story has been that there was a man years and years ago who made sure all the children in his village received something on Christmas morning.  His generosity and love to the children are the parts of the story that we tell the kids that we love so much about this history / story of Santa.  Our kids have grown up knowing 'about' Santa - but not believing 'in' Santa. 

Through the years as the children were growing up they would ask us if we believed in Santa Clause and we would tell them the story and then tell them that we believe in the spirit (the heart giving attitude of this man named Santa from years gone by) but that he does not exist anymore in real life.  That has been our story and how we have handled and 'done' Santa.  That was true for Rachel.  That was how we told Abbey about Santa.  When James asked his questions about Santa that is how we handled them.  Then there was Zak and even with his limited understanding at times he understood the story and history of Santa.

Then there was Anna...

She asked the believe question.  We answered her in our well thought out and, up until now,  successful way.  She had asked us if we believed in Santa last year during the Christmas holiday.   We gave her our explanation and concluded with:   "While we don't believe in Santa, we love the story of his heart for giving and we believe in the spirit of Santa."

This did not suffice.  She came right out and asked the question:   "Well, is there really a Santa Clause?" 

No problem.  We can handle this question.  We gave her the facts. 

"No, Anna.  There is not a Santa now; it's just a make believe story from something that happened years and years ago.  There is no Santa now it is just a pretend story that is fun to hear."

I expected that to be the end of it in her three year old little mind.  I was wrong.

"So there is no Santa?" She was probing. 

Rob was gentle; but very firm:  "No, there is no Santa.  It is just a story that some people pretend." 

She went on, "Then you and Mommy don't believe in Santa?"

Rob confirmed to her that we did not believe in Santa, "That's right, Anna.  There is no such thing as Santa Clause."

Then Anna, sounding more like she was eight and had believed in the story for her entire life said, "Well, I believe..."

It threw us.  None of the other kids had 'believed' in that sense of the word.  It was not part of our Christmas traditions or celebrations.

Her insistence on Santa's reality continued.  This is how it was the entire holiday season last year.  She told all of our friends she believed.  She told Rob she believed.  She told me that she believed.  Never, not one time, did we go along with this mindset she had.  We told her the truth and she told us what she believed.  Over and over again. 

Then, she saw him!  At the grocery store.  In Mayville, Wisconsin no less!   She ran up to him and told him that she knew he was real and needed her picture taken so she could show her Dad that he did exist.

She carried in the 'proof' to Rob when she ran in with the picture from Piggly Wiggly!  The holiday season ended last year by taking down the picture and her telling Rob once again that he really did exist.

It was all the same this year.  She told me that she did believe in Santa as we put up the Christmas trees.  She told me that she loved Santa and that she knew he would come and bring her presents this year. 

I could bear it no longer.  I put the other kids to bed and told her that I needed to talk to her.  Hot chocolate sat in the mugs in front of us and with the Christmas lights twinkling and the house was completely quiet I had her full and complete attention.  I looked her right in the eye and told her that Santa was not real.  That it was a nice story but it was not real.  Just pretend.

"Like, Strawberry Shortcake?"

I nodded, "Yes, like Strawberry Shortcake."

"Oh, I know that, Mommy." 

I explained that I wanted her to know the truth.  We went to bed with me surprised at how much she understood and how well she took that. 

Then, we went to the mall today to get her hair cut.  Santa was there.  She wanted to see him.  I caved in and said that we could.  We stood in line and waited for our turn.  We waited for 15 minutes.  Finally, we were at the front of the line - the next ones to see him.  She has been so excited.  Suddenly, she got really quiet.  The boy behind her said that it looked like his beard was real - not fake.

That did it.  She looked up at me and told me she did not want to do this.  I was surprised at her reaction. She still was insistent that she wanted to go. 

Then, she turned around and looked at the family behind us, "I don't even believe in Santa!"  She was matter fact and to the point.  The father of the family asked her if she was just scared.  She shook her head no and said it again, "I don't even believe in Santa!"  Then she turned to me, "What am I doing here?  I don't even believe."  She then took my hand and pulled it to go. 

The man smiled at her as I excused ourselves from leaving the line.  Anna looked right up at him and said, "I am going to go tell my Daddy what I want for Christmas.  It works the same way."

We then walked away and head toward Chick Fil A where Daddy was working.  When Dad came out she ran up to him and told him all about what she wanted for Christmas.  She had quite a list. 

Somehow watching Rob holding her and listening as she talked to him about her Christmas wishes I thought, "Finally, it is how it should be."  Somehow in her mind today it all came together.  As Rob kissed her and told her he had to get back to work I was thankful that we had been insistent upon the truth; but glad we were willing to explain to her the story; but even more thankful that we allowed for her to come to her belief on her own. 

Perhaps I learned a life lesson today, I can't make my children believe truth; but I can be confident in truth as I present it to my children.  I think that when they come to believe something on their own -then it is truly their belief - not mine.  Something to remember for the future - with this one, I think I am going to need this life lesson.  LOL. 

Trust you are enjoying and building memories with your family this weekend.

Blessings,
~Martie