On the day your were born - I held you in my arms amazed at the beauty God had created through love. Though unspoken, and not consciously thought; a vow so sacred was breathed through every part of my body.
A vow to love you, to protect you, to nurture and cherish.
That was many years ago. I have made it through your infant days and colicky nights. I have watched with wonder as your toddling feet maneuvered through uncharted territory as you took your first steps. I made it through the amazement that you were in kindergarten and doing your school work diligently. I have cherished every Mother's Day since you were born; and looked into your dark brown eyes more than once and marveled at the young lady you are becoming.
Through all of these milestones and so many more the sacred vow has continued to beat within my heart. A vow - only a mother can understand. To keep you safe - protected and train you to be ready for a world that at times is much too hard - and full of unguarded places. My responsibility to you is just as sacred now 15 years later as it was the day you were born - perhaps more so.
It is a vow that I honor when we laugh together and have fun enjoying each other's love and friendship. It is a great delight to my soul as I listen to you play the music you have practiced and see the emotion and feeling coming from within you as you play. It is a vow that I do not take lightly when having to make decisions based on your whereabouts. A vow that drives me to ask the hard questions:
"Where will you be?"
"Who will be with you?"
"When will you be home?"
It is a vow that is worth the sacrifice of time to assure that you are safe - even if it means having to drive you somewhere myself. For it is a vow made many years ago - that I still hold in high regard.
Sometimes I have to say no to one of your requests; and see the disappointment in your eyes. It makes me sad to know that my decision has caused you disappointment.
Yet, the vow I made is more important to me than a bit of displeasure on your part for a party missed or a visit not made.
Then, when the time has passed - the air has cleared and further explanation is able to be made it is with a mother's heart that I pray you will understand. Yes...
I want you to understand why I said no - but more so understand the commitment I make to the vow.
So, I talk. You listen. I explain my commitment to you and you begin to understand - not necessarily the answer; but my heart. As we talk - you begin to see it is not for your displeasure but for your protection. I want what is best for you. Oh, the joy that comes to my heart as I see the eyes of your understanding opened. How confusing and troubling these teen years can be; how much Satan wants to convince your heart that I do not understand!!
Yet, when we talk, and when you choose to listen, he looses ground - for we become united in spirit in love.
I am more willing to loose all the money in the world than to place you in a position of danger and vulnerability. You are more valuable to me than all the money this world could give me.
If someones desire is to bring you harm...
if Satan's attacks are aimed at your very soul...
My child, they will have to come through me first before they get to you because...
I made a vow - as real today as it was the day I made it 15 years ago.
With all my heart I love you,