Still Learning

It has been a long week. He has been up early - and to bed late. It is beginning to show. His thoughts are racing - his behaviour sporadic. Sometimes it is just a bit more than a Mom can handle.

He is not being bad - just fast. Too fast for me to keep track of.

It was lunch - I was ready for him to go to lay down for a nap. My nerves were just a little bit stretched.

Then he did it again - and in his haste - messed up something I did not want touched.

I grew exasperated. In a quiet tone - but with more frustration than even a loud voice could have conveyed, I spoke. The tone was hushed; but my spirit was clearly heard - I was frustrated.

Despite the fact that his brain is not connecting all the dots today; he clearly understood - not necessarily what I was saying; but what I felt.

He sat - eyes looking down - tears threatening to spill out down his cheeks. I was smote- I was wrong.

I looked at him - and the look was all that was needed for the tears and the sobs to come. I went and held him. "I... was.. just being... your helper."

Ah, conviction. How God is teaching me the need for His patience when Zak is having a bad day. I was reminded that his heart attitude was more important than the outcome. He was not trying to cause problems - his limitation were just making it a little harder for the helper to truly help.

Hugs were given - my apology was given - and accepted. We sat down and ate lunch.

Life with special needs requires me to understand more - to guard my responses better. So, as I try to teach and train him to slow down - it would be good for me to remember he is not the only one who needs to learn this. So glad we are never too old to learn!


Persuaded said...

Ahhh Marty, you know what I thought of when I read this post? How often are we (like your Zak) trying to be God's "helper".. rushing out ahead of Him and His will, doing things that may seem good or helpful to our limited minds. Of course we mess up- at least *I* do, and often! But God is so quick and ready to forgive us♥

I saw myself in your Zak today, dear.

the Weigt Family said...

I'm right there with you on this one, Martie! I TOTALLY understand. Great reminder!!
Love and Prayers,