Slowly Moving Forward

Things have been slow moving here. Literally. I am still struggling to walk upright and with my back straight. I have given birth four times – all naturally and without drugs. I have had several different surgeries in my life time – 5 to be exact. However, I have NEVER been in as much pain as I have been experienced in the past 4 days!

On June 9th I had a preplanned surgery done that needed to be done for some time. The surgery went very well and I was feeling like I was getting back to my normal self. About a week after the surgery I started to experience some pain and an infection was found; and quickly treated with antibiotics at home. The infection pain got better but new pain developed. I was readmitted into the hospital; and a battery of tests run. After much pain meds (one nurse helping me to the bathroom actually used the word ‘stoned’ to describe the state of mind I was in due to all the pain meds), it was assumed that there were two possible options for the pain. One was an infection in lining of the rib cage, causing inflammation and pain; the other was that the first surgery had actually caused my gallbladder to go berserk. I was sent home on more pain meds, and told we would wait it out a few days to see if the pain got better due to the inflammation being gone from the rib cage. Unfortunately, this did not happen! The pain not only did not get better, it got worse. It was decided last Wednesday morning that I would have surgery to have my gallbladder taken out. I found out of this plan one hour before I was due at the hospital to be prepped for surgery.

The surgery went well. I woke up in more pain that I have ever felt in my life. I have since found out the walking takes stomach muscles. Laughing requires them too; as does coughing. The first night home I thought I was going to go out of my mind due to the pain. I have never laid so still in my entire life. Each day has gotten a lot better; but it has been a trip – and not necessarily a fun one at that! Due to having two major operations in two weeks time; plus another surgical procedure that used anesthetic – I have been quite tired. I will fall asleep while I am talking to someone. It has made for some interesting memories of days in a blur. I also am still on a good dose of pain killers that inhibits cognizance and memory. For example, I have a doctor appointment tomorrow – I can not for the life of me remember the time of the appointment.

Other than that, I have been overwhelmed by the love that has been showed to us by so many of our friends. Meals have been sent, birthday parties hosted (Rachel’s 18th), cards and notes received daily in the mail, and countless friends have driven all the way out here to make a house call. God truly has showed His loving care for us through our friends. I have no doubt of His love for me! He is a great God.

The kids have undertaken such responsibility at the house. Abbey has almost run the house by herself. I am amazed at how much that girl can do and how busy she keeps herself. She has truly been a blessing to me! Rachel has been my side kick at the doctor visits, hospital stays and surgery waiting rooms. It has felt odd to have the roles reversed from this time last year – now it is her holding my hand while I am in the bed. I have been so blessed to have her with me. As is normal in our house when a crisis situation arrives, Rob started at a new store the week that I had my second surgery. He has been overwhelmed with a host of new job responsibilities, personnel management and just getting used to a new environment. James has been able to be his side kick and help him out with the jobs that have found him in his new store. We have laughed at how ironic it was that this also happened when Rachel was in the hospital last year. Overall, this has been a pretty smooth transition. God has been good.

I think it will still be a while till I am back on my feet again; but it is coming. Abbey walked into the room yesterday and said, “Wow, you look like Mom finally!” So I am trying to take it easy. The kids have their lists for Dad when he gets home – lists of what I did that they did not think I should have done. (Walking upstairs, doing my hair or the dishes or watering my herb garden outside) It has given Rob and I a few laughs after everyone is in bed. I am surrounded by little police that are watching my every move. It feels good to be loved.

I am blessed and thank God for a body that He has made that heals. I have enjoyed quiet times with Him in prayer and Bible reading and that has been such a blessing. Psalm 91 has been such a blessing to me at this time. “He that dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty!” He has been my shelter and help and granted me peace that has far surpassed my understanding! I am so thankful for His presence it has been felt as I was wheeled into the operating room ( so much so that I felt no fear), in the machine as I was enduring a three hour test in closed quarters ( I slept, uninhibited by fear or alarm), in the recovery room as I prayed through the pain, and in the ER as I endured 14 hours of pain (I felt a great blessing just counting my blessings and thinking of how good God has been to me!). He has been my strength. I have known He was there with me as clearly as if I could see Him. He has whispered my name through the night and I will never be the same.

Thanks for your prayers. God is good all the time!

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