Our daughter died in December of 1997, those four capital letters are at the end of her autopsy report.
SIDS changed my life forever.
This month I finished the book that I had tried for so long to write. (For whatever reasons I could not write it before now.) Through the third week of the month of October I pretty much locked myself away and wrote and wrote and wrote. I cried and wept. I remembered.
I remembered the day she was born. I remembered her smile and her laugh. I remembered how happy we were together as a family. I remember finding her. I remembered and felt again, the fear that gripped my heart. I remembered the EMT working. I remembered friends. I remembered the funeral. I remembered standing in front of her casket and wondering how life could go on.
I remembered and I cried. I missed her as if it had been just yesterday. It hurt.
I kept writing. I kept remembering.
I remembered my shattered faith. I remembered all my questions. I remembered the "WHY?" question. Then, I remembered how God had shown me His promises. I remembered how real God became to me during that time. I remember how He healed my broken heart. I remembered how the promises of God's word that were so dear to me at that time.
I wrote and I wrote. I remembered and then, I was challenged.
Nothing happens in our lives without a purpose. Every event gives us opportunities. My life's purpose is to glorify God and to proclaim Christ. Ally dying gave me an opportunity to proclaim Christ to people I would have never met without her home going.
Then I asked myself, have I seized that purpose. Has Christ received all the glory He can from that situation.
I thought, and I realized. I can do more. I can proclaim Christ more through this situation.
So I come to my blog and I want to tell you that this month is SIDS awareness month. I want to do more to help parents through their time of grief. I want to do more to tell them about God and His love for them during that difficult time. I want to proclaim Christ MORE!
Because SIDS changed my life forever - but it was God ordained. God allowed it and I know Him better today than I would have had Ally not been taken to Heaven early. Her life - and her death were a blessing and through them I have understood more clearly the meaning of the word "Hope" (her middle name).
I want for Christ to be glorified through my life and through every situation that comes my way. I want to proclaim Christ. After I wrote the book - and as I was reading through my journals God showed me a verse. Isaiah 61:1-3 This has become my life verse.
God brought be across this site. Will you go over and visit and will you pray for the parent's whose hearts have been broken by the sudden death of their precious baby? I have committed to praying for them. I remember the hurt. I remember the grief. I remember the healing. So, I will pray that during their time of loss they will find Hope.
That God may be glorified!
Martie
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