It has been a long week. He has been up early - and to bed late. It is beginning to show. His thoughts are racing - his behaviour sporadic. Sometimes it is just a bit more than a Mom can handle.
He is not being bad - just fast. Too fast for me to keep track of.
It was lunch - I was ready for him to go to lay down for a nap. My nerves were just a little bit stretched.
Then he did it again - and in his haste - messed up something I did not want touched.
I grew exasperated. In a quiet tone - but with more frustration than even a loud voice could have conveyed, I spoke. The tone was hushed; but my spirit was clearly heard - I was frustrated.
Despite the fact that his brain is not connecting all the dots today; he clearly understood - not necessarily what I was saying; but what I felt.
He sat - eyes looking down - tears threatening to spill out down his cheeks. I was smote- I was wrong.
I looked at him - and the look was all that was needed for the tears and the sobs to come. I went and held him. "I... was.. just being... your helper."
Ah, conviction. How God is teaching me the need for His patience when Zak is having a bad day. I was reminded that his heart attitude was more important than the outcome. He was not trying to cause problems - his limitation were just making it a little harder for the helper to truly help.
Hugs were given - my apology was given - and accepted. We sat down and ate lunch.
Life with special needs requires me to understand more - to guard my responses better. So, as I try to teach and train him to slow down - it would be good for me to remember he is not the only one who needs to learn this. So glad we are never too old to learn!
What a joy he is to our family. I can not imagine our lives without him.
